Self-Help Sunday: You are Either an Incel or You are a Delusional Masochist

I’m not a supporter of sentimentality, as a general rule. I consider sentimentality a weakness. It is certainly in opposition to realism, which I’ve built as the core of my personal identity – and for that matter my professional identity (the dichotomy between personal and professional identity – the places where the two overlap and the places where they should not – is an important topic for another time). Sentimentalism is a fundamentally feminine trait.

Nostalgia can probably exist without sentimentalism, in theory, though this is some kind of emotional gymnastics. In general, we should be dealing with the present, and how we can use the present to shape the future. That is certainly something that should be true in personal and professional life equally. The past is relevant only insofar as you can learn from it, and nostalgia can, in theory, be a method for reflecting on the ways that the present is different from the past, and where things went wrong.

This having been said, after hearing a parody of a 1990s Blink 182 song on The Ralph Show, it was probably primarily sentimental nostalgia, rather than a desire to learn, that led me to download and listen to 1997’s “Dude Ranch.” Blink 182, along with, most prominently, Green Day, was a band that took certain elements of 1980s punk music – highly melodic, primitive three-chord high-energy music – and combined it with high-production pop music techniques, and removed the edginess, to make it palatable to a mainstream audience. This sort of music became popular among the youth after Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain killed himself, and the culture needed a picking up.

For the record, Nirvana was a much more interesting and talented band than Blink 182. But it’s telling that the drummer from Nirvana, Dave Grohl, used his position as having been a member of that number one selling drug-depression band to pivot into the pop punk scene, forming the Foo Fighters.

I was 13 when Dude Ranch was released, and it had an effect on me. Regrettably. It was fun and high energy, but going back and listening to it today, it is clear that this was just more pussy-worship music, which is something I am highly opposed to. It was also the diametric opposite of “challenging,” which is something I think influential music should always be (at least mostly always).

The “182” in the name comes from the number of times Al Pacino says “fuck” in Scarface. Which is arguably the most interesting thing about the band. It had two singer songwriters, which was rare at the time. Mark Hoppus and Tom DeLonge were both in their mid to late twenties when the album was recorded, and yet all of the songs were about high school sex drama. Clearly, the target audience was high schoolers, but I believe they were both marijuana smokers. If you start smoking marijuana habitually, your emotional development stops, which is why you might someday run across a 65-year-old boomer hippie who has the emotional and psychological state of a 15-year-old. So I think the duo were pretty qualified to write about high school sex drama.

They would have been in high school in the mid-80s, and I don’t think it was much different than in the mid-90s. What I am interested in here is how much different it is now, compared to then.

The core track of the album is called “Dammit,” and it may be worth suffering through to get an idea of what we’re discussing here. (Alternatively, you can check the lyrics.)

(Note: this was before the somehow still-famous drummer Travis Barker joined the band. Drums are such a big part of this kind of music, given that the guitar and bass are always so juvenile, that I do think he, as a better than average drummer, improved the quality – or at least the complexity – of the music. Yet due to the time of the release, Dude Ranch was the most influential album on me. By the time Barker joined, I can say with pride and dignity, I was getting into slightly more challenging indie rock, industrial music, and boomer rock and folk. I got really into Modest Mouse.)

The Sexual Situation of 1990s High Schools

In the 1990s, high schoolers were definitely sexually active, even in the Midwestern all-white upper-middle class suburb I grew up in. But things were much different than they are now, due primarily to the technological situation.

Smartphones did not exist, most people did not even have “dumbphones,” and the internet was mostly just available on computers at school. This was the age of the CD-ROM mass mailing program of America Online (which inexplicably used the acronym “AOL”), where you got 40 free hours of internet browsing through your telephone line, and would then have to pay by the minute.

What the smartphone did was give women the ability to get unlimited attention from unlimited numbers of men. More importantly, it allowed women the sexual freedom of “hooking up” with guys who were outside of their friends circle, which meant that they could have unlimited numbers of sex partners in secret.

When I was in high school – the high school age that Blink 182 sang about – women were compelled to have “boyfriends.” There were certain girls who believed that every girl and boy should have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and they would plan to arrange these relationships. It should also be noted that at the time, high schoolers were not fat. Most of us played sports, or were involved in skateboarding or bicycling, and the food was just a lot better. So although there is always an “attractiveness curve,” by the nature of physiology, everyone was more or less “normal.” So it was possible for everyone to be “hooked up” with someone of equal attractiveness. For girls, obviously we are speaking entirely of physical attractiveness, whereas with boys, being “popular” as a result of sports achievement or being “cool” as a result of fashion and access to drugs, influenced their attractiveness level.

What a woman did not want was to be considered a “slut.” This was very bad. Everyone would mock them, to the point where in the era, there were quite a few suicides by girls who were brutally mocked as overly sexually promiscuous, if they had sex with boys who were not their “boyfriend” or would switch from boyfriend to boyfriend at a rapid rate. Unlike now, everyone knew everyone, and word of sexual dalliances spread quickly. If a girl did not want the label of “slut” and the severe social shaming that went along with it, she could not operate as women currently operate on social media. As far as I’ve been able to observe, and I’m sure there is a lot of older sociological research (now banned) that would back up the assertion that “slut-shaming” is something that both men and women naturally do to promiscuous women, as we instinctively recognize it as a threat to the social order.

Looking back, it’s clear that it was technology that interfered with the mating process at the time. Sex before marriage is a sin, but illicit high school sex was happening in the “pure” age of the 1940s and 1950s as well. As soon as you had sex-integrated schools, a large portion of teenagers were not going to be able to control their raging hormones, and were going to find a way to have sex with each other. The problem in the 1990s was that there were condoms and birth control, as well as abortion. In the 1940s, if a girl got pregnant by her “high school sweetheart,” it meant that there was almost certainly going to be a marriage forced on them by both sets of parents. This isn’t ideal, and as a Christian I do believe that in an ideal world, sex should be within the bounds of marriage. But as a practical reality, a teenage girl getting pregnant and then being forced to marry the father is not a totally broken social system.

This situation actually did happen to a few people I knew in high school – a girl got pregnant, refused the abortion, and the couple ended up getting married. Of course, they are all divorced now, because divorce is legal in America (because our country is run by Jews who feel threatened by the existence of healthy families).

The target of outrage at the time among conservatives was “teen promiscuity” and the target of liberals was “teen pregnancy.” As I’ve described, “promiscuity” was something of a misnomer, given that it was socially impossible in a social circle where everyone knew everyone. It was actually “premarital sex” that would have been the complaint, as most teens were limiting their sexual affairs to one person.

In actual reality, neither of these things were very serious problems. Again, an ideal is an ideal, and sex after marriage is an ideal, but in reality, if it were not for birth control, abortion, and the legalization of divorce, upwards of 90% of the people I went to high school with would currently be married to the first (or maybe second) person they had sex with in high school. My generation is pushing 40 now, so that would mean that the current generation of teenagers would be raised by married biological parents.

Instead, you have this:

If you parse out that data, for millennials in the “married” category, of that 44%, about half of the women are married to men who are not the father of their first child. (That data is available, but I can’t find it right now – but you all know it’s true from your own experience. The number I have in my head is that 23% of millennials are married and living with children they produced together – and most of them will be divorced in the next 5 or so years.) For the record, my opinion on men who marry single mothers is that they should be taken out behind the barn and beaten to death with a shovel.

This has been a process that began when women were given the right to vote. Women have no conception of society, or that something could be good or bad for society, they have only a concept of what is good for them personally. So if you give them rights, you enter the downward spiral.

(Note: I don’t advise anyone listen to Nine Inch Nails. But it is relevant both in terms of content and the 1990s nostalgia intro.)

Incelism and You

Needless to say, most young men are now incels. They might not want to use that word, but it’s just a fact.

There are various types of incels, but the underlying causes are all of those listed above, to wit:

• Birth control and abortion
• The ability of technology to enable female promiscuity without social shame
• The inability to sustain marriage, due to the legalization of divorce (primarily no-fault divorce, but really just divorce in general)

Most intelligent men have simply given up on attempting to make a relationship work, because it is clearly impossible, due to the progressive stacking of the deck against men being able to successfully couple.

There are different types of giving up. Some men let themselves go and get fat and play video games all day. Some just try to go on with their lives, and live for themselves in as healthy a way as possible, working and making money, staying healthy, having fun with their bros.

Other men are still chasing women. They are the largest group, probably. They are still harboring romantic dreams that they will find “the one,” or they are at least hoping that they can get a “hook-up” here and there. No one is really doing the former. Marriage simply does not work anymore. The woman has all the power, given that she can end the marriage at any time for no reason and take the money and the kids, which means that the man that keeps his marriage is the one willing to be a slave to a woman.

The likelihood of “hooking up” is increasingly impossible. Not only are women able to choose which men they want to have sex with from a buffet on social media – where they will inevitably choose the top 5% most attractive, but women are actually having less sex. Due to the massively lower levels of testosterone in women, they simply have nothing approaching the male sex drive. What they have instead is a desire for attention. So they can get thousands of “likes” on pictures they post on social media, and feed their dopamine receptors, and they can go on dates from social media, have the man pay for everything, then say “well, I have to go home now.” The man thought he was paying for sex, by buying the food and the drinks, spending maybe hundreds of dollars, but the woman feels she is under no obligation.

(Note: women become horny for about 72 hours per month when they are ovulating. This is when they will do a “hook-up” on an app with a man who is more attractive than them, who would never agree to marry them. Even if the overly attractive man did form a relationship and agree to marry, she would just divorce him in about five years, cash in, and move on to the next mark.)

Whether you want to admit it or not, you are either an incel or you have serious emotional problems. You do not have the option of forming a permanent relationship, no matter how successful or attractive you might be.

If you are not attractive enough to actually convince a woman to marry you, which is most of you, but you do hit the occasional “hook-up,” you are still an incel, in the same way that a homeless man who is able to break into an abandoned building and sleep for a few nights before being evicted by the police is still homeless. You just got lucky and got to sleep in a building for a few nights. When you’re kicked out by the police, you’re back on the streets.

Any non-incel decision is an absurd waste of your time and resources, and is deeply personally humiliating. If you get married and have everything taken from you through a grueling process, you’ve played yourself. If you get lucky on an app and get a hook-up, you’ve wasted how much time and emotional resources that could have been spent on making money, learning skills, studying, and doing things that are actually enjoyable, in exchange for a few minutes of sexual release.

If you are one of the few who manage to find a woman and stay married, then you are serving as a slave, without any power at all, waiting for the woman to get a feeling she is “not happy” and it’s time to cash out. This can happen in your 40s or even your 50s. Any married man is simply rolling the dice, every single day, hoping that the woman doesn’t say “we need to talk” and tell you she is “not happy.” Or, as has happened to more than one person I know personally, doesn’t even say anything to you, changes the locks on your house, and has the divorce papers sent to you.

If you are a “live-in boyfriend” – now often goofily referred to as a “fiancé,” then the situation is about the same, though it will cost you less money when she decides she is “not happy.”

Women are not logical. They can not be talked out of things. They make decisions purely based on emotions, and all of their emotions are based on the premise that they are personally the center of the universe and that everything that exists in the universe exists for the purpose of making them feel happy.

That’s just what they are, that’s what they’ve always been. It’s the first story in the Bible. A woman’s desire for excitement is what destroyed paradise.

Where we are now, all of their worst instincts have been unleashed, and they are rewarded for embracing these worst instincts. They do not need you for sustenance anymore. Technological society, and the welfare system, feed, house, and clothe them. Therefore, you are obsolete, unless you are capable of being entertaining or otherwise feeding her ego.

This is the system we live in. We didn’t volunteer for it. But this is where we are, and we cannot change it as individuals.

With every single thing stacked against you, the only logical path for any man is to be an incel.

Don’t Say “Volcel”

I have seen a lot of people on the internet – faggots, in fact – who try to draw a distinction between an “incel” and a “volcel.” That is, a man who is involuntarily celibate vs. a man who is voluntarily celibate.

Firstly, hookers do exist, so no man is technically “involuntarily celibate” in the strictest sense. Every man has the ability to order an escort, even in countries where prostitution is banned. So, the word “incel” actually doesn’t refer to a man who isn’t able to ever have sex under any circumstances, because technically, any man has the ability to order a hooker for sex.

But nothing about the sexual landscape we currently suffer under was “voluntary.”

None of us “volunteered” for a society that allows:

• Birth control pills
• Abortion
• Social media sex hook-ups
• No-fault divorce
• Family court settlement systems

So, if you make a choice not to participate in that, you are an “incel,” even if you could technically do a hook-up or get involved in some horrible slave marriage or “live-in boyfriend” situation.

Women in the Workplace

Just to round this off, the entire “women in the workplace” phenomenon needs to be mentioned, as it often gets the blame for a lot of this. However, women in the workplace is more of a side effect than a core cause of the problem. If women could not prevent pregnancy through all of these different means, they wouldn’t have the option of joining the workplace.

It’s likely that the social pressure for women to “have a career” is part of why they choose to have abortions. It is unlikely that if you polled most 13-year-old girls before this massive brainwashing campaign that many of them would say they dream of being a bank manager rather than a stay-at-home mother. But the birth control/abortion system enables this.

The system of welfare for single mothers and just women generally also enables this. But really, “women in the workplace” is a form of government welfare, via the affirmative action programs. The only real job that a woman can do and make money comparable to that of a man, without an affirmative action program, is prostitution. And the period in which a prostitute can work and make good money is relatively short.

(She can spend money on plastic surgery to extend her shelf-life, but that’s probably only going to lead to breaking even. One fact of reality is from the age of about 24, a woman begins making a rapid transformation into a beastly monster like something out a cursed swamp.)

It’s all tied together as part of an anti-natal program implemented by the Jews who run our society, setting the social norms first through their control of academia and then through their ability to manipulate public opinion and to influence government policy.

Obviously, women should not be in the workplace. But I would not identify that as a root cause of the current social collapse, but rather a symptom of it.

The Failure of Christian Churches

At the core of the disaster is the failure of Christian Churches – which, not too long ago, had a lot of influence – to push back against this agenda.

If churches in the 1950s and 1960s would have taken a hard line against feminism, none of this would be happening. Churches should have actively pushed not only for a ban on contraception and abortion, but on divorce, and on women being allowed to go to college and enter the workplace.

Imagine that churches were at least at the time teaching that sex before marriage was wrong. Yet they were supportive of women going to college and getting jobs before marriage, which would mean that they would be expected to lose their virginity at what age? 28? 32? This is plainly nonsensical.

It’s far from difficult to make the argument from the Bible that women’s place is in the home, having children. In fact, it is virtually impossible to make any other argument. Yet the churches didn’t do this, save for perhaps the Mormons (who are now backing off of that like every other church).

Saint Paul, who is for all intents and purposes the founder of the religion of Christianity (Jesus was more of the basis of it than the founder, although I don’t want to get into semantics), said explicitly that the only way a woman can be saved is through childbirth.

Not exactly mincing words there.

By refusing to push back against feminism, and in fact largely embracing it, the churches destroyed their own selves, creating generations of godless youths raised by vicious and megalomaniacal women.

“How can God exist if the world is run by women?” is a very good question. The answer is easy – because the people abandoned God and his plan for them. But that is a hard answer for people to come to. Or it was. It seems this answer is becoming less difficult for young people to reason out.

“So You’re Saying We Shouldn’t Marry and Have Kids???”

Every time I write about this topic, a gang of simps and morons come at me claiming that I am arguing against marriage and family. Intelligent people are able to see that I’m arguing the opposite.

I’m the metaphor man. Let’s do this.

Imagine we’re on a plane that crashes on a remote island in the Pacific somewhere. We have binoculars, and we can see that we are in the middle of nowhere. There is nothing but sea around us, in every direction. We have a source of fresh water. We have food. There are fruits and we can fish, there are even some wild pigs we’ve figured out how to trap. Someone says “I’m going to just swim out into the ocean and try to find land.” Having become the de facto leader of the crash survivors, I say “are you insane? You’re just going to drown. You can’t swim for hundreds of miles.” The smug person then replies: “so you’re saying we should just stay on this island forever????”

You get it? 

To extend the metaphor: we might be rescued. There is a good chance of rescue. If we’re not rescued, we will make do. We will survive.

Just so: there is a very good chance that with the rate society is changing, and the high probability of some kind of societal collapse, the current sexual dynamics will change drastically, and we will be able to reestablish workable sexual dynamics in the ashes of a dead empire.

This system can’t last forever. And when it ends, there will still be white people. The white race is not going to go extinct. You sacrificing your entire life to try to chase an impossible dream of a world that no longer exists is not going to save the white race. Your energies would be much better spent following the cliche of “becoming the change you want to see in the world.”

Stand up and fight for your birthright. Don’t go around scrounging for crumbs that fall from the table of your illegitimate masters. In trying to make a family work in this modern society, you are effectively begging the Jews to just let you have one thing you want. The Jews have no incentive to give you that.

They are in power. They are in complete power to the point where they have already legally effectively labeled us all terrorists simply for disagreeing with them. We are in the middle of a civilizational scale crisis.

You don’t have the option to choose the kind of life you want to live, because you are a slave. If you want to choose the kind of life you want to live, your only option is to stop being a slave. Otherwise, your masters decide for you.

Loopholes

Whenever this conversation comes up, someone tries to bring up some kind of loophole. “Oh, I could become Amish” is probably the most extreme (and probably most likely to be successful, I guess, if the Amish let you join them, which I think is impossible). But there’s also “meet a girl at church,” which completely misses the entire point and shows a total lack of understanding of what is happening right now (according to statistics, Christians have a higher divorce rate than non-Christians, though that’s probably due to income gap rather than religiosity).

There are also dumb arguments about how “it’s not really that bad.” Someone will bring up the alleged divorce rate. Firstly, go look at how divorce statistics are measured. They use different methods, but none of them make any sense, because people don’t get married at the same time they get divorced. Furthermore, most people who are currently not yet in the divorce statistics who are under the age of 40 will be in the divorce statistics soon enough. That also doesn’t acknowledge the fact that “common law” marriages (i.e., “live-in boyfriend” situations) are extremely common, and virtually always end in “divorce.”

There is no loophole, there is no solution, it is as bad as it looks. You can go look around you, you can go look at the con artist gurus telling you they know how to make your marriage work. In fact, I encourage it. Go look at everything, and come to your own conclusions.

Of course, it is possible that you’ll find a woman, get married, have kids and grow old together, happily. It’s not impossible, it’s just statistically improbable. This is like saying “you could play the Powerball and win $200 million.” Intelligent people do not play the Powerball.

Bottom line: there is nothing you can do to make a divorce less likely. Literally, nothing. You can be kind to her, you can “neg” her and try to control her, you can be reasonable with her, you can be a raging abuser – none of that is going to affect the outcome.

The only thing that is statistically measurable that can change the outcome of a marriage is how much money you make, in particular, in comparison to how much money she makes. But I don’t really know that I even believe that statistic.

If you believe you are more desirable, “more alpha,” and more able to control a woman than:

• Brad Pitt
• Vladimir Putin
• Johnny Depp
• Jeff Bezos
• Bill Gates
• Kanye West
• Ben Affleck
• Donald Trump
• Elon Musk
• etc.

Then you are profoundly delusional, if not literally clinically insane.

Ending up in a successful marriage is like winning the Powerball. It is completely based on random chance, and the chance is very, very low.

Chasing after this is masochistic. You are destroying your own life, wasting all of this energy, putting yourself through unimaginable pain, seeking something you will never get.

Give Up on Women

Women are the greatest possible distraction for all of us, due to the biological reality of the drive to reproduce (that’s what the sex drive is, by the way – it’s not about pleasure). The fact that a healthy relationship with a woman is officially impossible is killing our ability to live meaningful lives.

Meaningful life as a slave is resisting slavery, fighting back against the slave masters. We can only do that with God.

Here’s my advice:

• Don’t be fat
• Forgive your mother
• Stop pitying yourself (no one cares)
• Respect yourself
• Do things that give you self-esteem (work! Whatever it is, just work!)
• Learn to pray

I don’t have a solution to how to make a relationship with a woman work, because there is no solution to that problem. Look around you. This is self-evident.

You are not special. You are not going to beat the house, you’re not going to pull some kind of trick and win the game that everyone else who plays is losing.

You didn’t volunteer for this society, but this is where you are.

You are an incel.

This fact should not hurt you, but liberate you. This drive for women, these are chains on our souls. Break them, and free your soul. Then, we shall get to the business of freeing our bodies from the Beast.