40-Year-Old Zombie Katy Perry “Rewards” Orlando Bloom with Sucky-Suck If He Does the Dishes

This guy is handsome. He was in movies and shit. He was in the Lord of the Rings.

Now he’s the pet of a 40-year-old woman, doing dishes in order to get his pecker patted?

New York Post:

Katy Perry shamelessly shared that she rewards her fiancé, Orlando Bloom, with oral sex when he does chores around the house.

The “California Gurls” singer, 39, made the confession in Wednesday’s episode of Alex Cooper’s “Call Her Daddy” podcast while discussing red flags in relationships.

“Help around the house. Like, share the load or help the load be lighter,” Perry suggested to men. “The load can be so heavy for women, and there’s so many invisible things that we do, and it’s literally about sharing that load.

Shut up, bitch.

You aren’t doing housework. You live in LA. The Mexicans do the housework.

(LA people might do some basic stuff, just because it is annoying to have Mexicans scurrying around everywhere all the time, but the Mexicans are at least coming in once a day to clean, do laundry, etc. Most of these people have in-house cooks, but even if they want to do their own cooking, they can cook and then leave the dishes out and the Mexicans will come clean them in the morning.)

The Grammy nominee admitted she and the “Pirates of the Caribbean” star, 47, do “a lot of couples therapy” — during which they discovered that one of her love languages is acts of service.

So it’s like, if I come downstairs and the kitchen is clean, and you’ve done it all, and you’ve done all the dishes, and you’ve closed all the pantry doors, you better be ready to get your d–k sucked,” she shouted.

“I mean, literally. That is my love language. I don’t need a red Ferrari! I can buy a red Ferrari. Just do the f–king dishes! I will suck your d–k! It’s that easy.”

The former “American Idol” judge said Bloom understands her needs and will do the dishes on the weekend when their housekeeper is not there.

This bitch is nasty as hell.

She is literally 40 years old! She is totally beast-mode!

From my perspective, I am asking: what is Orlando doing?

Maybe he’s just with her for the money. His career didn’t really pan out that well. He came up in his 20s as a handsome young man of ambiguous sexuality and then kind of fizzled. You can check his IMDB and see the total collapse of a career. He was still getting roles in those pirate movies before Johnny got canceled, but that work has dried up.

He started dating Perry in 2016, when his career had totally fallen off. She is ultra-rich. So maybe he’s in it for the hustle.

Or maybe the answer is in the question: maybe men named “Orlando” have very serious mommy issues.

Anyone named “Orlando” has serious mommy issues. And you might be wondering about the last name, “Bloom,” which is a Jew name (but he doesn’t look Jew, you will say). Well, his mother was married to a Jew, and she told him it was his father. The Jew died when he was 4. Then when he was 13, mommy told him she had an affair with one of the Jew’s students, and that was actually his father.

You can imagine what he went through as a kid with this kind of mother and situation. Men who grow up with psycho single slut mothers are tortured by them. The only way to stop the torture, as a boy, is to do everything your mommy wants you to do.

When you are doing everything your mommy wants you to do, your brain is rewired, and you end up associating all positive emotions with your survival strategy, which is pleasing women. As you become an adult, you maintain these mechanisms you learned as a child, and you go through life looking for a mommy to give you a pat on the head (the “pat on the head” from these mommy figures is usually in the form of sexual rewards).

Orlando Bloom is not unique. Most white men are wired that way these days, as most white men were raised either by single women or by women who dominated their husbands. It’s very sad that an adult man, a man in his 40s, would be acting like a little boy, trying to please a woman so she will give him her approval.

Most of you, the readers (AKA “my close friends”), grew up with a dominant woman controlling your life, and so you are probably going around looking for a “girlfriend” to be your mommy, to give you approval. That is what the “tfw no gf” meme is all about.

You may live your entire life with a desire to please women, to find some woman to give you approval. But you can overcome this desire using logic and reason. Eventually, you can rewire your brain to not seek this kind of approval from women, and instead to look at women as people who will please you for money.

That is all a woman should be, whether she is a hooker or your wife: she is someone who pleases you for money. Whether it is an hour or a lifetime together, the money is what she gets out of the relationship. She will give you sex and maybe children, and you will pay her for it. There is nothing else you owe her and there is nothing else she is capable of giving you.

If you go into relationships with women trying to please them, you’ve already lost. You cannot. What pleases women is money, which is the symbol of status and resources, physical safety. If a woman wants more than that, she is defective. You don’t need a woman who demands more than that, and if you are into women who demand more than that, you have a problem yourself. A woman who wants to treat you as a pet or as a little boy, a woman who wants to reward you with sexual favors in exchange for doing the dishes, should not be attractive to you, and if you are attracted to her, you have a problem.

This means that women who have their own money – or at least more money than you have – should generally be off the table. Women are wired to get money from men, and it is a new thing to have women with hundreds of millions of dollars like Katy Perry has.

It’s not a good situation, to be with that kind of woman. It’s never a good situation to be with a grotesque, saggy old slut.

Of course, if you are with a woman to get her money, only God can judge you for that. If you find a woman with hundreds of millions of dollars, maybe you will go for it and get money from her. But at some point, you should abandon her with your ill-gotten gains, and find a younger and more attractive woman who will not treat you as a pet.