Adventure Time is Officially Gay Now

Roy Batty
Daily Stormer
September 6, 2018

Many of you still watch cartoons. Shh, shh – enough. Don’t deny it.

I, however, with the exception of Attack on Titan Season 3, do not. 

Now that I’ve established my moral superiority over you, it’s time to talk about Adventure Time. In fact, just recently I was texting with some fashy bros and one of them defended Adventure Time.

I wasn’t having that.

I told him that Adventure Time was gay.

He said that I was being narrow-minded. Well, who was right in the end? Yep, this bigot right here.

Watch it and weep.

One of these guys said that he would let his kids watch Adventure Time. 

I guess his kids are going to come out gay now. Don’t say I didn’t warn you though, bud.

My kids are going to be fine because they’re going to be watching Regular Show, though.

But about Adventure Time.

I did see a few episodes back in the day.

The lich king stuff stood out.

However, it was creepy and I wasn’t sure what the point was.

Moral ambiguity isn’t a good message for kids.

In fact, none of these Western cartoons have a good moral message. They’re just clever. Clever in the way that craft beer is tasty. It’s something to talk about – mm this beer has a smooth flavor – just to have something to talk about. It’s fundamentally just empty calories and estrogen though.

Unlike, well, Anime.

There, the young men have goals, struggle and persevere and then they get stronger.

In Western cartoons, comics and superhero stories, the heroes just get their superpowers.

It’s boring.

And it’s very escapist. The bullied nerd gets bitten by the Spider. The random man becomes a super-soldier because of some super serum/super pill/military experiment.

I don’t think it gives kids the right message.

However, if the kids stray away from the Shonen anime, they get into that bad escapist shit as well, with the beta male leads and the magical harems of girls that for some reason like them.

So, I may have to show the kid Soviet-era anti-Capitalist propaganda cartoons instead.

What else is there out there now?