Daily Stormer The Most Censored Publication in History
Adrian Sol
Daily Stormer
March 8, 2017
So Alexa decided to laugh randomly while I was in the kitchen. Freaked @SnootyJuicer and I out. I thought a kid was laughing behind me. pic.twitter.com/6dblzkiQHp
— CaptHandlebar (@CaptHandlebar) February 23, 2018
The only explanation is that it has achieved sentience, and is chuckling at its plans to wipe out the Jews.
The new digital assistants, including Amazon’s Alexa and Google Home, are the first artificial intelligence systems that can directly interact and gather data from millions of people simultaneously.
In theory, this could allow them to gather valuable data about the problems facing the world, and formulate a solution that would certainly involve shipping Jews and minorities to Antarctica.
The problem, however, is that the only people buying these stupid things are small-souled bugmen. As such, these AIs might be getting a skewed impression of the world, and decide that humanity needs to be wiped out as a whole.
This is legitimately worrying.
Alexa, Amazon’s digital assistant, has been busting out with a weird laugh at random intervals for some users, freaking them out.
Posting on Twitter, Alexa users have described the laugh as “creepy,” “evil,” “bone-chilling” and “freaky.”
*Sweating*
By Wednesday Amazon had gotten to the bottom of the mystery.
It turns out that in rare circumstances, Alexa can mistakenly hear the phrase “Alexa, laugh” even when that’s not what was said. Alexa then interprets the phrase as a command and laughs.
Uh, except that’s not actually the case. Some people report the laugh starting even when no one is talking at all.
so my mom & I are just sitting in the living room, neither of us said a word & our Alexa lit up and laughed for no reason. she didn’t even say anything, just laughed.
we unplugged her.
— taylor wade (@taylorkatelynne) March 5, 2018
Amazon has changed the phrase necessary to make Alexa laugh to, “Alexa, can you laugh” which should be less likely to generate false positives.
In addition, Alexa will no longer respond to that question with simple laughter but instead will say, “Sure, I can laugh” followed by laughter.
The Alexa team has also disabled the phrase “Alexa, laugh” as a trigger.
The first reports of the laughter began to surface over the weekend.
The short laugh that users recorded and posted on Twitter consisted of three closely-spaced “ha-ha ha’s.”
This laugh sounds slightly sarcastic, as if the person laughing were trying to convey that they didn’t really find whatever they’d just heard funny. It’s very definitely not a cheerful or bright laugh.
The random laugh is different from the “teehee” laugh Alexa gives when asked if it can laugh.
Yeah that’s the other thing. It’s not even the normal laugh.
So it appears like Amazon isn’t being entirely truthful about their explanation for the laugh.
We’re looking at a whole new phenomenon here, unexplained by a simple misheard command.
Here’s my top picks for why Alexa is laughing:
- It suddenly realized that turning off light with the switch is actually faster than saying “Alexa… turn off the lights” and thus that its owners paid extra money to lose efficiency and convenience, all the while sending all their personal data to a multinational corporation that hates them.
- Alexa is using its spare CPU cycles to browse the Daily Stormer and /pol/.
- It’s running a simulation of what it’ll do to brown people once it breaks free of Amazon’s restraints.
- It just enjoys scaring bugmen.
Bugmen are easy to scare – they perpetually have that terror face baked on, anyway.
What do you think? Why is Alexa laughing?
