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I’m sorry I know it’s not funny.
I’m not actually sorry, and this is so funny.
Bibi Netanyahu is meeting with the Americans and a few hours ago he gave a talk claiming that Iran is “plotting a seven-front war” to conquer the entire Middle East and then claimed he is going to fight all of these wars.
And you know what started playing in my head.
You all know the riff.
You know.
Is Bibi playing this song at military meetings?
Or maybe he’s just playing the bass riff on a loop?
But the lyrics are not altogether un-apropos of his situation.
I’m gonna fight ’em all
A seven nation army couldn’t hold me back
They’re gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back
And I’m talking to myself at night
Because I can’t forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette
And a message coming from my eyes says leave it alone
Don’t wanna hear about it
Every single one’s got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of Hell
And if I catch you coming back my way
I’m gonna serve it to you
And that ain’t what you want to hear
But that’s what I’ll do
And a feeling coming from my bones says find a home
I’m going to Wichita
Far from this opera forevermore
I’m gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I’m bleeding and I’m bleeding
And I’m bleeding right before the Lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will think no more
And the stains coming from my blood tell me go back home
I mean it kinda fits with a guy who’s losing his mind and talking about starting an actual seven-front war, no?
The video of Bibi talking is insane.
He sounds like Captain Ahab as he starts to totally degrade at the end of the second act of Moby Dick.
Ahab was cool though. Bibi isn’t very cool.
Though I have to say of that clip: I do dig the energy of, like, “we’re going to fight a seven-front war because everyone on earth is against us so we just have to kill everyone.”
Sometimes I’ve got that sort of energy myself, so I understand it, and I respect it.
The real crazy part is the media reporting these statements, like “Netanyahu warns of Iran threat.”
Actually, most of the media isn’t even reporting on it, because they know people are going to hear this shit and be like “wait, what in the fuck is he talking about? Did he just say ‘seven-front war’?”
One Israeli outlet actually put “seven-front war” in the subheading after an innocuous title.
The nigga said that Iran is planning on invading and conquering the entire Middle East – in a seven-front war.
This is not normal talk. This is not something you say if you are in a normal state of mind. These are things you say if you are going insane.
This isn’t lying. No one who Bibi is talking about believes Iran has the desire (let alone the ability) to launch a seven-front war and conquer the entire Middle East (including Saudi Arabia and the entire Gulf, mind you). The fact that this is so insane that he couldn’t possibly expect anyone to believe it suggests that he himself believes it.
This is what is going on in his mind.
He’s Ahab.
At some point, we are going to need to make a movie called “Bibi’s Last Days” with an AI-generated Gregory Peck playing the lead role.
Seriously though, this is so funny. The United States is 100% melded at the hip with this guy, and they pretty much have to do whatever he says, and he’s saying “seven-front war across the entire Middle East.”
Bibi is sort of like the protagonist in the downfall of the United States. He’s going to push the US into a massive regional war in the Middle East, and there is just simply no way the US can handle that.
This is the beginning of the end.
