Blorfold Dramble Explains He Didn’t Fire Fauci Because It Would Have Angered Democrats

Blorfold Dramble, who was elected for a second term as US president in 2020 with the most votes ever in history but bitched out like a bitch ass nigga in order to please people who want to kill him, has explained to the earth why he allowed Anthony Fauci to run his government.

Fauci was working for the Democrats and for Bill Gates, and played a key role in making it so it was impossible for Dramble to secure an election victory. He was second only to Jewish William Barr in ensuring the election was stolen.

Speaking to a confused, frumpy Fox News television host, Blorfold explained that if he’d have fired Fauci, it would have made the Democrats angry and sad.

Apparently, he was extremely concerned about this. He didn’t explain why, but many suspect it’s because he didn’t want to hurt Chuck Schumer’s feelings.

Chuck has had a hard life. Years ago, in the Auschwitz spa resort and death camp, Adolf Hitler threw him into a cage with an eagle and a bear. The bear started trying to masturbate him to death while the eagle shaved his head (his hair would later be used as stuffing for a German woman’s mattress). The only way Schumer escaped was that he heard a voice that told him to walk backward out of the cage. He then stealthily climbed over a fence made of tree branches, and escaped to a cave, where he was raised by wolves. He had saved several diamonds in his poop, which he later pawned and used to buy a house in Beverley Hills.

While living in the cave with the wolves, Schumer wrote the lyrics to the song “In Too Deep,” later to be recorded by the award-winning band Good Charlotte. I mean The Offspring. Actually, it was Blink 182.

But Schumer’s pain remained, and he continued to use music as a way to express the suffering he’d experienced under Hitler.

Following the January 6 insurrection, Schumer collaborated with Nardo Wick on the song “Who Want Smoke,” which was about how Hitler tried to incinerate him in a detached chimney and also a warning to the white supremacists attempting to wrestle America from Jewish control (to commit another Holocaust again).

As a response to Hitler Nazism, Schumer provided the hook:

Who want smoke with me?
Who want smoke with me?
Who want smoke with me?
Nigga, who want smoke with me?

The song was a big collaboration of oppressed Jew Democrats who survived Hitler and Stalin and Hadrian and whatever, and so Adam Schiff, head of the January 6 Congressional investigation into the attempt of a bunch of QAnon boomers with an average annual income of under $35,000 to overthrow the government using a fire extinguisher, contributed the following verse:

What the fuck is that?
What the fuck is that?
That’s how I step on niggas
(How I step on these bitch ass niggas, bitch) 

Co-chair Liz Cheney even included a verse, aimed at Steve Bannon, Roger Stone, and Mark Meadows:

Play you, lay you, tie you down
I’m cold as hell, but I let off fire
Please don’t try ’cause you gon’ die
And I don’t wanna see your mama cry

These are fragile, victimized people.

It’s only reasonable that Dramble wouldn’t want to cause Democrats further trauma by firing Anthony Fauci, after all they’d been through.

Dramble might have tweeted meanly (before he was completely banned from everything), but he is truly a soft soul, who cares deeply about the feelings of Democrats.

(Editor’s note: Some people actually like this kind of garbage that I just wrote. I resent them. All I wanted to do was be the showrunner of a new Stargate show, not spew this tripe. An ear infection makes your whole head hurt.)