BREAKING: Matt Gaetz Rushed to the Hospital After “Drowning in Jewish Semen”

Andrew Anglin October 1, 2024

Trouble on Capitol Hill today as far-right Congressman Matt Gaetz was rushed to the hospital after having drowned in Jewish semen.

“I’ve seen a lot of Jewish semen in my day, but I have never seen that much in a man’s mouth,” said one Congressman who preferred to remain anonymous to protect his identity.

An unnamed CIA official, who remained anonymous, told the Stormer: “Congressional studies have shown that a human being can only guzzle 7 gallons of Jewish semen every 15 minutes without risking death. Congressman Gaetz went above and beyond that limit this afternoon.”

Luckily for the far-right, Gaetz appears to have already regained consciousness and has tweeted this:

Praise Yahweh and Israel, those sweet chosen ones, who truly are victims of everyone else on the earth.

Iran is attacking Israel right now, claiming in a confusing public service announcement that the missile strikes are revenge for Cell killing Goku.

In reality, however, Goku won the battle against Cell, which has led many to believe that Iran is living in an alternative timeline. That would perhaps explain why they do not understand that everything Jews do is good and everything bad in the universe is someone else’s fault.

“This is like Fern Gully,” said one unnamed rabbi who preferred to remain anonymous because he’s under investigation for child rape.

We will continue to monitor the situation of Matt Gaetz’ recovery from semen overload and Jews being bombed for no reason.

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