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Rebooting the CDC?
Let’s go for all women.
We can keep Walensky. She’s already a reboot from boring men that everyone hates because they oppressed everyone for millions of years. What Walensky needs is a fat bitch, a dyke, and a ginormous, loud black woman.
I would be willing to offer creative direction here.
Call me, Rochelle.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced Monday it plans to undergo a month-long “revamp” as it faces a credibility crisis more than two years after the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, according to a report.
CDC Director Rochelle Walensky told her staff in an email reviewed by the Washington Post that “it is time to step back and strategically position CDC to support the future of public health.”
“Over the past year, I have heard from many of you that you would like to see CDC build on its rich history and modernize for the world around us,” Walensky wrote. “I am grateful for your efforts to lean into the hard work of transforming CDC for the better. I look forward to our collective efforts to position CDC, and the public health community, for greatest success in the future.”
Walensky added that she had hired an outside leader for the review who will look at the CDC’s “structure, systems, and processes.”
During the pandemic, the agency meant to be a valuable resource for Americans during a time of global crisis was widely mocked and dismissed as it released convoluted and occasionally contradictory guidance.
Fire those people.
I am an expert on rebooting franchises.
I not only served as a secret advisor on all-cunt Ghostbusters, but also the overwhelmingly popular and critically acclaimed Star Trek: Picard.
It was my idea to replace the Klingons with orcs. I also invented the robot paradise and terrorist robots.
Firstly, double masking isn’t the right look for the tone.
You need to scare people, and I mean really scare them.
You need everyone at the CDC to start wearing Scream masks.
But they should take them off for the banter.
This needs to be backed up by a loosely scripted reality TV show.
We need a lot of banter, because this is a horror comedy.
You also need to play the X-Men cartoon theme song in the background on repeat during press conferences.
No, wait.
The Power Rangers theme song.
No one can ever take down the CDC.
It’s time to even the score.
Public health should be scary, funny, and most of all – exciting.
Lean into it.
Call me.
— the name (@BillyJupiterCSR) April 5, 2022
Change the name, gives a false sense of security that someone is actually watching over this stuff. This agency was wrong on pretty much everything and we would have been better off if we didn’t feel that someone was there to protect us
— Chøtch von Töast 🟠🤙 (@ChotchVonToast) April 4, 2022
Cool, do the NIH next, first by firing Fauci. Then root out all the corporate influence in the FDA. There’s much work to be done.
— Shelly Olmstead (@PoisonAlice) April 4, 2022
Maybe if the CDC sticks with science and medicine and stays out of politics. That would be a start.
— Thomas Lee (@TomLee451) April 4, 2022
Lol “let’s not change our methods, let’s execute a PR campaign”
— Nick Stravos (@NStravos) April 4, 2022
