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Justice Breyer has resigned from the Supreme Court, presumably to focus on making the smart carbs in his low carb ice cream even smarter than they already are.
I didn’t think they could get any smarter – but Breyer has a plan, and the world awaits to see how he implements it.
Channeling Steve Jobs, Breyer said he was planning to go “fucking supernova” on competitor Häagen-Dazs, who he claims without evidence has violated the patents on his smart carb system.
I can imagine it was stressful to be serving on the nation’s highest court by day, while at night attempting to smarten the carbs of ice cream so that ice cream enjoyers could also enjoy a low carb lifestyle.
Although the potential for smarter carbs in Breyer’s ice cream are by far the most interesting part of the story, it should also be noted that Joe Biden has vowed to replace Breyer with a ni… with a nice black lady.
And any old black lady will do.
BREAKING: "I've made no decision except one: The person I will nominate will be someone with extraordinary qualifications…That person will be the first Black woman ever nominated to the United States Supreme Court," Pres. Biden announces. https://t.co/50J4uW7uqd pic.twitter.com/M3ZmAVxGoI
— ABC News (@ABC) January 27, 2022
Joe has made it clear that competence is not a factor in his decision.
As Tucker Carslson pointed out, CNN is just recommending random black females, some of whom have only been working in the court system for a few months. He noted that Biden might as well just appoint George Floyd’s sister.
She is, after all, a very important black woman.
Her brother died.
And she’s got the style – the pizazz, if you will – to really give the court some much needed flair.
And I mean, CNN said it – any old black bitch will do.
I think Lil Kim has done her time and proved to be a very important person.
Her face is really, really messed up from all that surgery, but she could just wear a mask like Michael Jackson after he had that bad plastic surgery.
In fact, they could make a rule that everyone on the court has to wear a Michael Jackson mask so she doesn’t feel out of place.
In fact, they already have that rule anyway.
Remember: this is really important and something you should spend a lot of time thinking and talking about.
So put down the video games, and start thinking about this Supreme Court thing, because this is the government.
