Dave Portnoy is Literally Every Jew

Andrew Anglin June 7, 2025

Dave Portnoy has entered a second wave of his total meltdown, and I think that possibly, the Elon crash-out was organized by the Jews to cover up the Portnoy situation.

Because everyone is starting to understand a simple fact: Dave Portnoy is every Jew on earth. They are all hate-filled monsters, who will snap at the drop of a dime and fly into a murderous and worse, sadistic rage whenever they feel someone has hurt their feelings. Some Jews simply do better than Portnoy at hiding this fact. But no matter how well they hide it, they are all Dave Portnoy.

Because of Portnoy’s previous meltdown, where he spent weeks talking about some college kid making a “fuck the Jews” joke, he now can’t go anywhere in public without someone yelling “fuck the Jews.” Who knows if these people even believe this sentiment. They probably do now if they didn’t before, but it’s also just hilarious as a basic rule to have a situation where someone is so emotionally unstable that a random person saying three words to them will cause them to have a complete and total mental breakdown.

So, he was doing one of his ultra-hilarious pizza tasting events in some location, and someone yelled “fuck the Jews.” Because everyone who sees him yells that now.

This led to a podcast scene where he had his worst break with reality yet, where he attacked and threatened his own staff, saying that they were trying to get his fellow chosen people murdered with jokes. He said that the time for Jewish jokes is over because these jokes are getting so many people killed.

I love this clip so, so much.

People are pointing out that Portnoy has made constant jokes about killing Palestinians. He actually makes one in that clip.

Frankly, I’m the number one Palestine shill, and I’ve made jokes about killing Palestinians. For example, when Palestinian children were rushing to food drops and got crushed to death by the boxes full of food, I said “this brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘food as a weapon.'” Maybe that’s insensitive, I don’t really know or care. The point is, I am the most hardcore Palestine supporter in the West, at least publicly, because I not only voice support for Hamas (whereas most pussies say ‘oh no of course I don’t support Hamas I just am against genocide’), but have actually called for a State Department policy of arming Hamas with advanced weapons, including shoulder-fired nukes. But that isn’t going to prevent me from making that joke.

And the reason for making a joke like that is not “just because it’s funny,” which is what these comedians defending “free speech” keep saying. “Any joke is okay as long as it’s funny.” That’s what they keep saying. That might be true, I guess, but it’s not a deep or meaningful take. When I make jokes about dead Palestinian children, I am cracking through the horror of the thing, breaking down the mental barriers that people naturally put up when they see videos of the mass slaughter of children.

Following along with this, the meta joke with these supposedly “sensitive” topics, which is just a joke because it’s funny, is mocking how sensitive someone is. I saw Cenk Uygur commenting on the latest Portnoy meltdown and just saying the basic and obvious things that fat Mexican retard would say, and he said that someone posting “Fuck the Jews” in Portnoy’s bar “isn’t a joke because there is no punchline.” It’s hard to think of a more retarded statement than that. Firstly, not all jokes have “punchlines.” This is a level of understanding of a 4-year-old who thinks every joke is some version of “why did the chicken cross the road?” Secondly, making a subversive, offensive statement in a public place is its own “punchline.” Thirdly, the real “punchline” was the Portnoy freakout itself. Some rando being able to make a billionaire have a total meltdown in public for weeks on end by hurting his feelings with words is among the funniest things that are even possible.

But I digress.

Because none of this actually has to do with humor or jokes. Jews, of which Dave Portnoy is the ultimate embodiment (“Jew Prime,” if you will), don’t care if your criticism of them, or negative statements against them, have comedic value. They think you should shut up. They do not think any word against them and their race of chosen ones should ever cross your lips, and they think if you choose to criticize them, humorously or otherwise, you deserve to die.

Can anyone watch those Portnoy freakout videos and think he wouldn’t kill someone? Can you imagine someone being that filled with frothing hatred, and then saying “oh but no I wouldn’t kill someone, that’s too much”? Of course he would kill someone and he would kill anyone who he views as a threat to his tribe, and he views anyone who questions his tribe as a threat to his tribe, and that includes teenagers who tease him.

Dave Portnoy is every Jew. And like every other Jew, he views all of us Western, white goyim in the same way that he views the Palestinians. To the Jews, we are all animals, and the value of our lives is less than nothing, and if we question them, it doesn’t matter if it’s a joke or if it’s all in good fun. What matters is if they feel threatened by it, if it makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe in some way, and any such statement made by a goy should have only one punishment, and that should be death.

If Dave Portnoy could, he would do to every Westerner who makes a Jew joke the same thing that Israel is doing to the Palestinians, and he would feel nothing.

P.S.

What I hope is that Portnoy joins either Team Musk or Team Trump. I think both teams are so starved for allies, they would accept him. And either Trump or Musk doing a press conference with Portnoy frothing at the mouth talking about how he’s going to destroy anyone who jokes about Jews would really make me happy.

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