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Previously: Jeff Bezos’ Only Viable Space Tourism Rival is Richard Branson! Elon Musk Totally Irrelevant!
Richard Branson is a dickhead and a totally failed billionaire (why is he even a billionaire? Does anyone know what he did? Everything called “Virgin” went out of business), but at least he actually goes to space.
Elon Musk is only nervously trying to relax with his gay dog and playing the worst video games ever.
Billionaire Sir Richard Branson is set to launch to the edge of space Sunday in the first fully crewed flight from his private space tourism firm Virgin Galactic.
Branson, 70, will serve as a mission specialist on what is being called the Unity 22 mission, the fourth crewed spaceflight for Virgin Galactic’s VSS Unity spacecraft. Unity is launched from a separate “mothership” aircraft called VMS Eve that takes off from a conventional runway before releasing the spaceship at an altitude of approximately 50,000 feet.
The launch will take place from New Mexico’s Spaceport America, and live coverage will commence at 10:30 AM ET (7:30 AM PT; 8:30 AM MT) on Sunday on Virgin Galactic’s website and social media pages.
On Sunday morning, Branson tweeted that he was “feeling good, feeling excited” and ready for this morning’s launch, along with a picture of himself with SpaceX founder Elon Musk.
Who’s the virgin now, Elon?
Elon is too scared to go to space because he gets anxiety when he’s away from his gay dog for more than one minute.
Branson rushed this because Bezos announced he was going.
Even though I congratulate Branson on humiliating the deviant villain Musk, I still obviously hope his rocketship crashes and he dies.
I’ll update you if that happens. If it doesn’t, I probably won’t update you, because this news story is not important.
