Germany: 31 Enriched, Some Critically, After Vibrant Goes on Hilarious Rampage

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.

Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.

Wouldn’t you like to get away?

AP:

A man has been arrested after allegedly setting two fires in the western German city of Essen that left 30 people injured and driving a van into two shops, authorities said Sunday.

Emergency services were alerted to two fires in residential buildings in quick succession shortly after 5 p.m. Saturday, police said. The injured people included eight children who were seriously hurt, and two of them were in a life-threatening condition after inhaling smoke.

Shortly after the fires broke out, a van drove into two shops in the city, causing damage to property but no injuries. The suspect then allegedly threatened people with weapons, but several men managed to push him back with shovels and poles and hold him until police arrived.

Police said the suspect was a 41-year-old Essen resident with Syrian citizenship. They said the man’s motive appeared to be that his wife had left him, and he targeted houses and shops where people who supported her lived.

Dang.

All that just because his slut wife left him?

Imagine what he would’ve done if he were an actual terrorist.

(Note: He literally does not seem to be a terrorist, this does not appear to be a cover story, it seems he actually did go around burning down buildings because his wife left him.)

The vibrant came to Germany in 2015, but most outlets don’t mention that