I Just Wanted to See Mario…

I was watching a documentary about Super Mario Brothers, enjoying my bi-weekly* McDonald’s breakfast yesterday, and I saw that there was a special YouTube logo with eyes. It was not so long ago that I would have thought it was maybe a promo for a League of Legends tournament. But I knew it was some kind of tranny think.

I hovered over to find: “Meet the Drag Community.”

It almost made me want to cry, like a little child: “But I don’t want to meet the drag community! I want to watch Mario!”

I note that I was watching Mario when this appeared to point out the fact that there is no filter only showing this on “adult” content. The documentary is maybe for adults, but it’s family friendly. It’s not like I was watching a Cardi B ass video when this popped up.

Nothing is sacred anymore.

You can’t watch a Mario documentary on the most popular video-viewing website in the world – which positioned itself effectively as a global monopoly – without it being suggested you get into gay stuff.

With childlike wonder, I said: “I’ll bet the story of how Super Mario Brothers was made is truly magical.”

Google, the most powerful company in the world, responded:

I don’t want to suck cock, Google.

I was just here to learn about Mario, a character I have loved since I was a little kid. I remember at the Penny’s Department Store, when I was probably five, when my grandma bought me the original NES that came with Mario Brothers (and Duck Hunt and that really cool gun that didn’t work). I remember being in the parking lot and her getting it out of the bag for me so I could hold it on the way home.

I’m sure this will come as a very huge surprise, but I had a sort of troubled childhood. I don’t really have very many good memories. This was one of the best. Grandma and Mario, my little sister not really understanding the importance of Mario, but just being excited I was so excited.

Now, people – “people” (Jews) – want to come into my mind, into my soul, and taint this memory with “hey, how about getting into dressing up like a woman and having anal sex? We really think you should try this.”

But then I think of something even more horrible: kids growing up today will never have a chance to form these innocent memories of grandma, sister and Mario in the parking lot of Penny’s Department Store. All of the memories of innocent, childhood joy that they should be forming are being tainted by adult homosexuals saying “hey kid, how about I shove something up your ass?”

I hate to say it, but if you think about it too long, you’ll start to wonder if it might have been better if the Holocaust actually had happened. “Maybe,” you start to muse, “horrific as it sounds, it would have been better if they’d just marched these people into fake shower rooms and gassed them.”

It just would have prevented so much human suffering if they would have been wiped out in the 1940s.

When you think about what they’re doing to kids, you just… you just have to wonder if it wouldn’t have been better if the Holocaust had been real.

The Mario Documentary

I’m sure a lot of you are wondering about the documentary itself, and my views on it. I think it was quite good, as are all the videos on the “Gaming Historian” channel.

There is a lot of footage from the late 1980s and early 1990s, from both Japan and America. What is a bit disturbing is that aside from the fashion, the Japanese look exactly the same as they do now. Americans, on the other hand, have morphed into beasts, if we compare them to what they were 35 years ago.

Japan is a developed country, which has many of the same problems that we have. Japan has a lot of plastic. They don’t use birth control pills, however, and their food is much less processed. There are probably other reasons. But it is a stark thing to notice that the Japanese in this 1980s footage look identical to Japanese now, while Americans have changed so much.

*“Bi-Weekly” as in once every two weeks. I would not eat McDonald’s twice per week. But “bi-weekly” can mean either thing.

Looking back on it now, I should have went with “fortnightly.”