I Prefer Loggers Who Didn’t Get Smashed to Death by Trees

Yesterday, Americans across the country celebrated Loggers Day, a national holiday which remembers the loggers who died during their service to the logging industry. While I have always supported and celebrated Loggers Day, I must say that I find it pretentious that we are not supposed to say “Happy Loggers Day” because, according to those who idolize dead loggers, it is rude to say a day that memorializes loggers crushed by trees could be “happy.” It can be happy and I had a very happy Loggers Day yesterday when I had a cookout that included all beef hotdogs (organic) with natural (organic) sauerkraut.

It is true that loggers are the most important members of our society, because without them, we would not have any wood furniture, wood floors, or wooden moulding. Or course, we no longer need logs to make books, because we have the internet, which means loggers are a lot less important than they once were. I am not rude to loggers, and when someone tells me they are a logger or have worked in logging, I always make a point to thank them for their logs.

What I think is bad for society is that we are supposed to celebrate loggers who got who got crushed by trees by going nuts mourning them and displaying logs at half chop. Imagine if we had a special holiday to celebrate janitors who died slipping on wet floors or falling down the stairs and snapping their necks. Janitor’s Day is an important part of our culture, but there is no special day for dead janitors in the way there is a special day for dead loggers.

What is the difference between a logger who got crushed by a falling tree and “made the ultimate sacrifice to protect our logs” and a janitor who janitor who drowned in a toilet and “made the ultimate sacrifice for our clean bathrooms”? Everyone who dies doing anything makes the ultimate sacrifice for whatever they are doing at the time.

The Hard Question: Racism?

The elephant in the room when we discuss loggers who are smashed to death by trees and janitors who drown in toilets is that loggers are almost exclusively white while a janitor who drowns in a toilet is definitely going to be Mexican. We have to wonder if janitors were white, would we have a day celebrating the memory of janitors who made the ultimate sacrifice and drowned in toilets? Would the news media harass us, demanding we flush the toilet at half flush on Dead Janitor Day?

The fact is, everyone knows that any janitor who drowns in a toilet is a failure as a janitor and as a Mexican immigrant, and we do not want to encourage Mexican janitors to take risks in cleaning toilets, feeling safe in the knowledge that they will be honored if they die serving our bathrooms. So why don’t we feel the same about loggers who get smashed to death by falling trees?

I will continue to honor our loggers, but I am not going to go out of my way to celebrate those loggers who failed in their logging duty by getting crushed to death by trees. I prefer loggers who don’t get smashed by trees.