I’ll be Back Soon, Friends.

I apologize for taking a break here.

I actually haven’t really taken much of a break, as I’ve been working, but I want to be posting on this website regularly, and I want to make sure that by taking some break time, I am not sending a different message.

Frankly, I just needed some distance here. It’s only been a week and a half, though I feel the distance is enough and I’m ready to get back to work.

To be clear, again, because apparently it was not previously clear, I will not be doing regular news updates as I did before, but will write some essays and humor stuff. For example, I almost wrote something about that beautiful gorilla losing her show and how sad I felt seeing her tears, but then I forgot about it. I’ve also been following the Ukraine drama, and have things to say about this.

I also have some hilarious jokes, such as in relation to this:

I would say something like “I’d leave that mayor clueless after verbally trampling her Constitution, if you catch my drift.”

I would also make edgy “suggestive” comments about other Asian female public figures.

Everyone would find it hilarious and very original.

I will also obviously need to comment on the downfall of Vologdomor Zyelendskyysisy, which appears to be impending. As well as the other thing. I forget what it was, but there was something else. Maybe that plane crash? They still haven’t released the identities, so I assume if the male was a male (and not an f-to-m trans), he was black.

But I’m working on other things, including an autobiography of Elvis. You heard that right. I’m writing an Elvis biography in the first person, which in the canon of my lore, he finishes while sitting on the toilet and dying. It’s going to be really cruel to Priscilla, who truly is the villain of that story. I will publish it without permission from the family, because what are they going to do, sue me? I wish them luck. I’m sure that will be incredibly profitable for them. It’s going to be sort of like that George Saunders Lincoln book that I forget the name of, except not pretentious tripe. Actually, I’m still deciding if it is going to be pretentious tripe; I have to continue my correspondence with the New York Times Book Review before making a final decision on levels of pretentiousness and the tripe metrics. If I’m just going to be blacklisted, I have no reason for pretentiousness or tripeiness, but if they’re going to blow up my sales and make people believe I’m smart, I have to side with their wisdom.

I also want to write a retrospective on The Simpsons Season 4, published in 22 installments. It’s such a tragedy, the thing with Phil Hartman. Women will just shoot you in your sleep. They blamed Zoloft, which is sort of funny, because I’ve been saying that mass shootings were the result of SSRI drugs for a very long time, and they just say it’s all about guns and the supremacy of the Aryan race. But then some bitch murders her husband in her sleep and all of a sudden SSRIs are a cause of murder.

My wife is not on antidepressants, by the way, so if she kills me in my sleep, please see that justice is swift and brutal.

I will also publish some fiction things here, I believe.

But I have notes for several essays about issues and I don’t think there is any reason not to write some news stories when I feel like it.

Right now, I don’t feel like anything. But I do realize it would be stupid to lose the audience of this site by leaving it dead for too long, so I’m going to do something. Whatever it is, it will be something. I have no idea what it will be, but I will be deciding in the next few hours.

At the very least, I will redo the front page in some way, making it more “a few articles a week” like in its orientation. But hey, I might be publishing daily articles. I am not against that. I just couldn’t do the news thing anymore, writing those 10 articles per day.

Also, I’m not rejecting donations, and hope there will still be donations, because I still have to pay to keep this site online. Of course, I will have to be producing content. So just wait and see if it’s good, I guess.

I can’t make any promises.