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“Know thyself” is the most famous maxim of all philosophy. Having accomplished this goal, I have found it to be a very bad idea.
Allow me to explain my knowledge of myself: I am a machine with a first layer of programming that goes “seek warmth, seek food, seek sex” and a secondary layer of programming that goes “engage in some balance of conflict and socialization.” Trapped within this machine is a “ghost,” which is the core of the above mentioned “self,” which is tortured every second by the programming of the machine it is trapped within, and by the systems of time and matter that the machine is in turn trapped inside.
The soul-self then seeks what? To overcome the restraints of the machine and the systems which restrain the machine. That means seeking immaterial, metaphysical things that exist outside of the programming of the machine, while only having access to the mechanisms of the machine and the systems it exists in. Attempting to do this leads to more advanced systems of torture than one would face if he were to simply ignore the ghost and simply follow along with the programming of the machine.
Time and matter are designed to destroy the machine and are always victorious. Therefore, the soul-self, if engaged, demands that the machine be overcome, because the soul-self does not want to end with the machine.
It might be easy enough to say “Jesus is the answer,” and I believe this. But if the answer was as simple as that, great Christian men in history would have simply embraced Christ and then lived in total peace. However, none of them (or a very remote few) appear to have done that, and instead were tortured by the machines they inhabited and the systems to which the machine is subject. This implies that although “Jesus is the answer” is a truism, “Jesus” is a complex answer. If Jesus were a simple answer, there would be no need for philosophy or theology or anything else, really. I hope that in the last minutes of my life, when the machine is failing in its battle against time and matter, “Jesus is the answer” is a very simple answer, but until the time of my death, it will be a complex matter, and a struggle to understand. In traditional Christianity, this attempt to understand often comes in the form of “pondering the mysteries.” I encourage this practice. In particular, I encourage an obsession with the nearness of death, of the inevitable failure of the machine. This should allow one to partially avoid the fear of the failure of the machine, which will allow one to act in a bolder and more meaningful way.
It should be noted: the ghost, the soul-self, cannot logically be an illusion, some by-product of “evolution,” given that it does not benefit the machine in any way. Without the ghost, the machine would act on the interests of the machine alone, the primary of which is procreation. Arguing against the existence of the soul appears to me to be stupid and ridiculous, and something that no one actually believes because a being with a soul cannot actually stop believing in the mechanism that provides it with self-awareness in the first place. This is without going into the mechanics of atheism, which claim that creatures evolve based on efficiency, and having self-awareness is extremely inefficient and damaging to the survival/procreation mechanism of the machine. No one without a soul could ever commit suicide. No one without a soul could be a childless incel (they would kidnap women and lock them in their basements). “Morality” in the sense of “social norms” exists in animals without souls, but it is much less complex than human morality. As the arguments against the existence of the soul are stupid, I do not need to spend more time on this.
The question is: how do we allow the soul to accomplish its objectives to the greatest extent within the constraints of the machine and the machine’s constraints? This is where the “know thyself” matter becomes applicable in a practical sense.
The first stage must, quite obviously, be overcoming, as best we can, the base functions of the machine. The saints often went into the wilderness for this purpose. This is extreme. But it is probably ideal. The most important thing to remember is that you are never going to fully accomplish the goal. It is impossible. The saints all died fighting a losing battle against the flesh. You too will die, and very soon. Even though it will feel like a very long time. And when you die, you will not have transcended the flesh, but succumbed to it.
What is clear is that Ted Kaczynski was right about technological society sucking people’s souls out of them, and you’re not going to find anything of any importance in this matrix system of urban doom.
King Solomon said that vanity was the core of the fleshy machine self, and thus vanity was what men should seek to overcome. “Vanity” might be better translated as “fleeting mist” or “vapor.” It describes the wants of the flesh. He concluded that the only joy is to eat, drink, and be merry. It was not an endorsement of hedonism, but rather the opposite: a call to disconnect from the bindings of the flesh and exist without pretense. That is, when we find the bright spots of clarity in the misery of existence, we are closest to God. And as Dostoyevsky said, “The darker the night, the brighter the stars.” If you understand life as misery, then the little twinkles of the stars, those times of eating, drinking, and being merry, can let you touch the divine. Or come close.
In the most famous painting ever, Adam’s finger does not touch God’s. He is reaching. But that space will not close in life.
But few seek. Mostly, we are chasing after a fleeting mist. That is what we get up and do every day when we pour ourselves into the hunt for money, women, or in the case of many readers, some kind of political solution to personal problems. None of that is real. I have had sex with women several times. I don’t really remember much of it. It didn’t make me any better. I hit some meme coins and had some money. I didn’t have anything to spend it on. I fought a political war for nearly 15 years. Nothing much came of it. Ah, but something did come of it. Being exiled and isolated from the system, being forced to disconnect from the destructive and hateful culture I was raised in allowed me to see just how ridiculous it is, then compare it to the rest of the societies. There is no one happier than the poor. Not Western poor, not street junkies or trailer park meth heads, or the blacks, but poor cultures, where people don’t have any great and terrible ambition.
Very often, people say, “I want to travel,” and I say, “Why? To what end?” People will typically say they want to “see things,” to which I respond, “It’s all on YouTube.” “Traveling” is something to look forward to for millennials who don’t say “I want to get rich and really respected” like their baby boomer parents. It’s something to look forward to, to distract from the reality that we are always going to be nowhere other than inside of our own heads. If you’re living in a mansion or if you’re getting your dick sucked in a colorful bungalow in Goa, you’re still in your own head, you’re still alone, as you were born alone and will die alone inside of this fleshy prison.
“Traveling” is only interesting in exile. That is the only way it is going to help you figure anything out. The realization that I am no longer “American” in any meaningful sense, and only understand it as an observer, was very important to me. As an observer, I am able to see just how miserable of a hell that existence is, just what a terrible matrix of dehumanization people inhabit in these prison-like cities, searching for sex, money, politics, travel, or some other things that don’t actually satisfy any need of the soul. The flesh has you on a rat wheel.
Millennials and younger often mock boomers for their obsession with sports, while millennials just do politics as if they are sports. There is no real difference, other than that the political obsession is more extreme. Neither actually leads anywhere. Boomers sat in front of the TV watching sports, people younger than them doom-scroll for political conflict. It’s simulated conflict. Sports and politics are simulations of war, engaged in by people who will not see real war.
A real war would probably be good for you. Not a dumb fake war, like the Middle East wars the Americans did. Or, maybe being on the non-American side of one of those wars, like John Walker Lindh.
The cocksuckers who caught him might as well have been watching sports.
But a real war, that would be good for you. Being in a ditch, seeing people get their limbs blown off. It would push you, at least. It would push the limits of the flesh-machine, it would force you to recognize that your body is just a leaky bag of blood and salt, propped up by sticks, and that if that is the “you, you,” then you aren’t much at all.
Probably, the clarity that comes with war is why people crave simulation of it. I don’t mean to romanticize war, as it is the worst thing imaginable, physically. But the worst thing imaginable physically could be the best thing imaginable for the spirit, if the individual experiencing it is able to avoid going insane. Regardless, there is some reason that people seek these simulated versions of war, and apparently find some deep meaning in them, or rather, believe they will eventually find some deep meaning in them.
Having spent more than enough time thinking about politics, I can confirm you will never find any meaning in politics. “Who will rule the concrete and glass prison complex?” might seem like a meaningful question, but it isn’t really. Were people’s lives better under Obama than under Trump? The answer is obviously “yes.” So what is happening? The system is progressing, becoming less human, more of a rat trap for the flesh boxes.
The simple answer is what the Buddha said: “All suffering comes from desire.” Jesus said several things that mean the same thing, though the clarity of the Buddha’s statement is cutting. So that is the point at which a person should start to attempt to understand the self. It was only less than 200 years ago that the overwhelming majority of the human population, including whites, were living on farms, spending most of their time in fields, or relaxing with their families.
Kaczynski gets all the credit for Jaques Ellul’s ideas. I would recommend the Kaczynski book first, because it’s so much easier to read than any of the Ellul books. But if you are a reader, the Ellul books are worth the effort. In English, they are “The Technological Society” and “The Technological System.” (Those are the most important, though it might be better to start with “Propaganda” if you are not used to reading this kind of dense text, which very few people under the age of 60 are used to doing. But yes, the Kaczynski book is a good summary.) These are arguments that no one can really argue with, as they are just obvious, but there isn’t really any solution for the society.
Look. People complain about consumerism. You hear this a lot. But what else are you going to do in a city, other than consume? There is no answer to that. The city is designed for consumption. It is the flesh prison. It is designed as a place to find hedonistic sensual pleasures, which is all consumerism is. And all of the world economies are driven by consumerism, and if you don’t drive consumerism, you cannot compete with other nations, and therefore there is no real third option, other than some kind of ultra-militarized Marxism or fascism, which is possibly the best option for a state. Though that hasn’t worked great for North Korea, at least the state still exists.
The point that I’m going for here is that you are not going to find meaning in any of these worldly things, and as long as you are stuck inside of the system, you are not going to ever really find any meaning, you are going to chase money and pussy. I know that there are a lot of “trad” memes going around and everyone is saying they want a “wife,” but what they are talking about is sex, and that is natural enough, but it’s not going to happen. You’re not going to get a trad wife in a city that is designed for women to max out their fun time, while forcing men to compete for their attention. That is all stuff I’ve written too much about. Everyone should understand it now.
So the desire for “a wife and family” is still a desire and it will drag you. If you get your wife, what is she going to have you doing? Is she going to hoe the garden on your farm? No. No, she is not. Not if she knows the big world exists. She might say she’ll hoe your garden, if she’s in the throes of passion, but she won’t. You would need some kind of situation like in that film The Village. (It’s from the Sixth Sense guy, who always does the “big shocking twist” thing at the end. I won’t spoil it. You probably saw it.)
There is no meaning in striving for any of these things, and we waste our time, which is very limited. There is an essay by Seneca the Younger called “On the Shortness of Life” where he describes the way men work in the city and say that when they’re fifty or sixty (now it’s probably when you’re seventy or eighty), they’ll retire to some farm in nature and relax, but that by this time, their life is already ending, that they are wasting the best years of their lives, the years that should be used to lay the foundation of understanding life and the coming end of it, wasting time striving meaninglessly. He also notes that the wealthier and more powerful you are, the more of your time you end up wasting, and therefore seeking these things is a vicious cycle.
I’m not in a position to advise you as to how you should go about living your life. I made what are in retrospect very extreme decisions. Tucker Carlson can get up on stage and say the Jews run America and face minimal consequences, others are also making much money saying this now, but when I said it, there were very serious consequences. Maybe I should have been able to figure that out. But I was 25 and didn’t give a fuck. This forced me into something I hadn’t ever really planned on. It was for the best, for sure, but it was very extreme.
My situation was so unique that I can’t really tell anyone else how they should go about seeking to escape the matrix. I suppose I could say “just buy some land outside of the city and try to relax, alone.” Land is incredibly cheap in America. I think Americans don’t really understand how cheap it is, compared to really anywhere else in the world. There is good arable land in Mississippi and Arkansas. You could also try to join the Amish. At least with the Amish, you’d have work. I don’t think it would be good to live without work. My work is writing, so it’s much easier for me. You need work. Seneca the Younger was from a wealthy family, he got patronage for his writing, and he was also doing shady money-lending schemes, so it was easy for him to say “just go live on a farm and relax.”
Regardless, it seems some level of rural isolation, maybe with some family and community, is the only clear path in this satanic world. But I don’t have any idea what you want. I am also not enlightened, and cannot guarantee anyone enlightenment, I’m simply on a path to it, and I think I’m probably further along than anyone trapped in an American rat cage.
What I can tell you is that knowing the self, understanding the nature of the soul that is trapped in this machine with all of these desires, is an extremely painful and arduous process, and it is one that you undertake while knowing you won’t actually ever truly finish it.
For me, I want to write more about these sorts of things, as I work through them. I’ve been writing a lot of different stuff since I mostly stopped with the Stormer site, and trying to figure out how to come at it. What I can say is that I no longer care about how many people read it, as I no longer really have a political agenda, as I have concluded that political agendas are futile. I was the best political writer, and as we can see now, the most influential of the century, but I now view that as akin to being the champion of the hot dog eating contest. I would rather be the best at writing something else.
My strong faith in God is in some ways a curse as much as it is a blessing, as there is a large part of me that would have preferred to simply run around the rat cage looking for dopamine hits. The fleshy encasement seeks to avoid suffering, and in order to actually develop the inner self, one has to, like Christ, embrace suffering as the only way out. And then look for those places where you can eat, drink, and be merry.
For me, writing is the only thing that creates an oblivion in my mind, and brings me to my self. That, I see now, is why I continued with the site every day long after I’d concluded that politics were a waste of time in the same way that working to buy a race car or working to get a woman to sleep with you is a waste of time. What I’ve realized since breaking up with you on Valentine’s Day is that I can write every day without publishing every day. I was already writing for myself, as everything I do is inside of my own head, because that is where we always are, from the day we come screaming into this life until the day we succumb to death’s sweet embrace.
The first thing to do is read the Book of John.
People talk a lot about Christianity. They don’t really seem to understand that the first principle of the religion is to “die to the world,” which refers to the denial of the fleshy desires outlined above.
I always hated my life. It was very nice to hear that Jesus said you’re supposed to, and that this is the path to enlightenment and eternal salvation in the life to come.
Saint Paul is more angry and less mystical than Saint John the Apostle, but this material is also very useful.
The concept of being crucified with Christ and living only through the spirit of Christ is something that should be pondered deeply. The true self inside of you is one with Christ, and was linked to Christ when you were born, and it is the desires of the flesh that separate you from this true self, this oneness with Christ. But as stated, it is only through death that one can ever truly escape the flesh prison and become one with Christ. Until then, we are all simply doing our best to prepare for that.
And then there’s Saint Augustine, who said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee.”
This is what one should ask of their life actions: “Is this preparing me for death and unification with the divine creator or not?” I don’t think a life in a city, with all of these cellphones and microwaves everywhere, can possibly be the ideal place to make that happen. In the ultimate sense, you are still just in your head, regardless, so anything is possible, but you need a really good excuse to live in one of these cities, as you are not going to have an easy time escaping desire in a rat matrix designed for the sexual satisfaction of women.
Author’s Note: Much of what I am working on right now is this sort of thing, just less stream-of-consciousness, more structured. It’s difficult work, to try to move toward structure, especially in longer work, and I’m doing a lot of reading to try to get good at it. I am also still working on some loser stuff and some fiction. I’m not promising any dates. Anything is going to be released when it’s done and no sooner. Until then, I’ll post whatever I feel like on here, with no clear schedule.
