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Do you know what I’d do if I accidentally threw a toddler out the window of a cruise ship?
I’d devote the rest of my life to cruise ship safety, as a way to pass moral responsibility away from myself.
The grandfather of a toddler who fell to her death from a cruise ship while he was looking after her has been sentenced to three years of probation.
Chloe Wiegand was just 18 months old when she fell to her death from an 11th story open window on a Royal Caribbean ship docked in San Juan, Puerto Rico, in July 2019.
Salvatore Anello of Valparaiso, Indiana, pleaded guilty to negligent homicide in February 2020.
Mr Anello had originally pleaded not guilty, but changed his plea to allow the family to move forward from the tragedy.
The terms of the plea deal allow Mr Anello to avoid serving time in jail and to remain in his home state.
Mr Anello, who is colourblind, previously released a statement in which he claimed that he did not know the tinted window of the children’s play area was open, and that he lifted Chloe up to the window so that she could knock on the glass like she did at her brother’s hockey games.
He said: “I wasn’t drinking and I wasn’t dangling her out of a window.”
Attorney Michael Winkleman said at the time Mr Anello, known as Sam, changed his plea: “This decision was an incredibly difficult one for Sam and the family, but because the plea agreement includes no jail time and no admission of facts, it was decided the plea deal is in the best interests of the family so that they can close this horrible chapter.”
He added that the family want to “turn their focus to mourning Chloe and fighting for cruise passenger safety by raising awareness about the need for all common carriers to adhere to window fall prevention laws designed to protect children from falling from windows”.
Well bro, no one else did this. Most people would maintain a hold on the child, even if they thought there was a window – otherwise you would be throwing the child up against the window.
Anyway, the reason I wanted to bring you this story today is that it’s bizarre and surreal. But furthermore: just remember that things could always be worse. Could you imagine having to live the rest of your life with the fact you threw a child out the window of a cruise ship? Even if you could manage the guilt, no one would be able to view you as anything other than the guy who threw a baby out the window of a cruise ship.
The other reason I wanted to bring this story up is that it’s not just babies that can disappear off the side of a cruise ship. WINK WINK WINK. If your wife ever tries to divorce you, she will still be also trying to suck as many emotional resources out of you as she can on the way out. So you can say “baby, let’s go on this cruise, and see if we can’t fix things.” And you can fix things alright. WINK WINK WINK WINK WINK WINK. You get on as two, leave as one. Where is that woman? Oh, the stupid bitch must have gotten drunk and fallen off of the boat!
What a silly ending for such a stupid slut. Oh well, I guess I get to keep my money, my house, and my children!
What do you guys think about tossing people off of cruise ships? Let us know in the comments below and be sure to like and subscribe if you want to keep seeing more fun content like “man pleads guilty to accidentally throwing toddler out the window of a cruise ship.” Alright, we’ll see you next time on “Practical Solutions to Woman Problems.”
