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Is this a success story of modern medicine? Or is this a horror story?
Has the fabric of reality been hacked?
A dad who lost his penis to a horrific blood infection has become the first man in the world to have a new one built on his arm.
Malcolm MacDonald, 45, was even given an extra two inches by surgeons — but a series of delays mean he has lived with it on his limb for four years.
Malcolm, a mechanic, is desperate for his £50,000 NHS-funded appendage — which he has nicknamed “Jimmy” — to be finally transferred to where it should be.
But he can still see the funny side of having it dangling from his arm and is in awe of the medics who helped turned his life around.
He said: “Of course it is mad – having a penis on your arm.
“Not even I am used to it. But when you think about it, it’s actually amazing.
“That they can make me a new penis at all is incredible – but that they can build it on my arm is mind-blowing.
“It looks like something out of a weird sci-fi comic. But it’s my chance at a normal life.
“It’s been the first step towards being able to go to the toilet and even being intimate with someone.”
Malcolm was shocked when a long-term perineum infection developed into sepsis, turning his fingers, toes and penis black.
And he was left “completely gutted” when his manhood fell off one fateful day in 2014, though his testicles remained intact.
Malcolm recalled: “I had struggled for years with an infection in my perineum but I had no idea what could happen.
“It spread to my fingers and toes and turned them black.
“When I saw my penis go black I was beside myself.
“It was like a horror film. I was in a complete panic.
“I knew deep down it was gone and I was going to lose it.
“Then one day it just dropped off on to the floor.
“Because I had been through the devastation of knowing I was going to lose it, I just picked it up and put it in the bin.
“I went to the hospital and they said the best they could do for me was to roll the remaining stump up like a little sausage roll. It was heartbreaking.”
I guess it’s reassuring to know that if ever you get in a situation where you lose your penis to a horrific blood infection, you can have a new one grown out of your arm – one that is even bigger than the one you’ve already got (we are aware that all Stormers have massive penises already).
But is this really something anyone wants to think about?
Andrew Anglin contributed to this report.
