Daily Stormer

Megyno Monday: Babylon Bee Kike Threatens to Assassinate America’s Top Hoe

Andrew Anglin

Editor’s Note: Due to a steep decline in the popularity of memes, and the consistently rising popularity of Megyn [sic] Kelly, this publication is being forced to change “Memetic Monday” to “Megyno Monday.” This is a sad day for the Stormer, but we simply cannot continue to fight the future, as memes just are not registering with the youth anymore. Every hour, 37 American millennial men die. Soon, the “Meme Men” will all be gone. This new generation, they don’t want the Happy Merchant and Wojak. They want Megyn. This is really no different than when the horse store had to murder all of the horses it had for sale, ship them off to the hot dog factory, and roll in the automobiles. I’m sure the horseman was like “these kids today are a bunch of gay retards, holy fuck, horses are so awesome and cars are the transport mode of true faggots.” But he had to keep his business alive. As the CEO of this company, I have a duty to this company. -Andrew Anglin, CEO

Megyn [sic] Kelly was previously mostly famous for going on TV while experiencing menstrual emotional feelings and verbally assaulting Donald Trump AKA “Overlord of the Talentless, Master of Those Without Skill” AKA “The Baby Bomber Straight Outta Bombay” AKA “Donnie Darko” AKA “We are Going to Shit in Your Street and We are Going to Make You Clean It Up.” That last nickname for Trump is I guess supposed to be a reference to the thing about the Wall and Mexico paying for it. I don’t know who comes up with these names. I know what I’m gonna tell these retards if I ever run into them:

Recently, as a result of scientific advancements, Kelly became famous for pulling a Benjamin Button and getting younger as she ages. Many are also fixated on her breasts (often called a “sweet rack”).

As one user wrote, “Grandma Meg looks better than those hoes on the college campus, those hoes over there are getting fatter and fatter so they have extra skin to fit more tattoos.” Another user wrote, “I want to fuck Megyn Kelly,” adding, “I want to suck on her tits, even though I’m sure she has aureolas the size of pepperonis.” Another user replied to that user, saying, “Have you ever heard of scale? I doubt her aureolas are above average size, but you have to consider the size of her breasts.” Then I replied, “she should do Slave Leia cosplay as part of her world tour.”

I then went into some detail about this plan, suggesting that Steve Bannon play Jabba, Tucker play Bib Fortuna, and Candace Owens play Lando. I was then banned for “stoking fear.” This is a classic case. People say graphic sexual things, I come in and offer some constructive ideas as to how we can help bring attention to Jeffrey Epstein or Charlie Kirk or whatever, and I’m the one who gets punished.

I do think Megyn looks great. What can we say? Irish people simply have superior genetics to non-Irish people.

People say the Irish drink too much. It’s like saying black people play too much basketball. Why do black people play more basketball than non-black people? Because they’re better at it.

Irish people use alcohol like Bane uses venom.

I have actually done research into potentially having a surgical procedure to install tubes to pump vodka directly into my bloodstream. People who claim Irish people are drunks, or that our women are slags, are simply jealous of our success.

I’m not going to say graphic things about Megyn’s breasts, even if the clothes she wears clearly indicate that causing men to say these things is her goal. She actually makes this more extreme, using the “fat friend effect,” pulling puffy-faced and swollen sloppy drunk Irish slags off the streets to sit next to her.

You can easily imagine in the back room, Megyn is feeding her pet slag boxes of donuts. Probably also pouring partially-hydrogenated seed oil in her whisky. Megyn is admiring herself in the mirror, pushing up her breasts and doing duck-face, saying “eat up my little piggy-wiggy” while the fatty cries about how she eats to kill the pain of the memories of her drunken Irish father beating her in the sheep-riddled field hovel she grew up in.

Anyway, the Jews of the Babylon Bee issued a threat to murder Megyn.

“The Tel Aviv Bee” is a bit on the nose there, Glenn. (Remember the bit about the ADL fighting discrimination against Jews in Hollywood? When you played it totally straight? Do that kind of humor, Glenn.)

But he’s right. Posting an image of a pager is a reference to the murder of many random Lebanese people with exploding pagers. Israel has celebrated this terrorist attack as a grand achievement, saying how clever they were to give “Hezbollah” pagers with plastic explosives in them. Obviously, a bunch of children and random people were maimed. There is no evidence any important Hezbollah people were harmed. Israel can only kill important Hezbollah people by pushing buttons to send US bombs. But Bibi has gone around the world giving people golden pagers and giggling to himself about doing a weird terrorist attack.

He gave one to Trump and it looked like a death threat.

That event was framed as very clever even though it had no tactical or strategic purpose, and simply reinforced the idea that Jews are evil monsters who celebrate murdering and mutilating random people. Bibi called the prison ass-ramming incident “the biggest PR disaster in Israeli history,” but it is really part of the same PR disaster that Bibi has been promoting. Further, people in Israel are celebrating the men who rammed objects up a random Palestinian man’s asshole as heroes. It would follow logically for Bibi to go around giving people golden asshole-rammers. Ethically, they are in the same category, though obviously blinding and blowing the fingers off of hundreds of random people and killing several is worse than ramming an object in a single man’s ass. He had to have multiple ass surgeries, but he survived and presumably he will have full use of his asshole.

Seriously, someone explain to me the difference between:

  • Hehe, isn’t it really cute and clever and cool that we tricked people into buying pagers with bombs in them and blew the fingers and eyes out of random people including kids, and
  • Hehe, isn’t it really cute and clever and cool that we rammed something up some random guy’s asshole

Instead of “Megyn throws out old pager just to be safe,” you could say “Megyn throws old asshole rammer out the window of her car while driving past synagogue just to be safe.” Except that the asshole ramming didn’t result in death. No one wants things shoved in their ass. Wait, actually, there are millions of gays in America, and when you say “I’m gay,” what you are actually saying is “I enjoy having things rammed up my ass.” But regardless, death is worse than an asshole ramming. (That’s a quote.)

The Babylon Bee is run by one “Seth Dillon.” Please do not believe he is Irish. Apparently, his paternal grandfather is Irish, but his mother is Jewish. He claims to be a “Christian,” but he also says he is Jewish. There is no way to be a Christian and also identify as a Jew. It’s no different than being a Christian-Satanist. If a person is born in a Jewish family, and they are baptized as a Christian, they can say “my ancestors were Jewish but I denounce that satanic cult.” Jews killed Jesus and then proceeded to spend 2,000 years trying to destroy Jesus’ followers. But some of these Jews will pretend to be Christians and then claim that their “fellow Christians” should do everything for the Jews. Dillon is experiencing a psychological breakdown even worse than Ben Shapiro over the Tucker Carlson situation. Though hanging by a thread, Shapiro is actually managing to hold it together, not threatening to murder people. Dillon is on the level of Mark Levin, who is also going around threatening to kill people.

Levin is in fact the individual who triggered this whole situation where we have this supposedly funny joke which is a very thinly veiled death threat against America’s top hoe (sorry, Tay, you’re too fat, we hate that Pfizer guy, the new album is trash, we support the Eagles, you’ve been pushed out by a woman twice your age).

Levin is on a rampage against Tucker Carlson for questioning Israel. Megyn has never said any of that stuff Tucker says about the Jews, but she is of course not going to distance herself from the most popular man in the right-wing (the clear front-runner for the Republican nominee for president who would presumably staff his administration with podcasters like Trump did, only using actually successful podcasters instead of failed ones). She also obviously wants attention. Who would have thought, you put women on the internet and you end up with stuff like that. So, after Levin called for Tucker to be shut down, vaguely insinuating some kind of violence against him, she said he should instead debate Tucker on the issues. Who knows if she thought Levin would do that (he definitely will not, no Israel supporters will debate the merits of Israel or its relationship to the United States, they always just call you a hater and demand you be silenced), and was trying to position herself to host it, or if she was just doing the obvious thing and backing up the most popular guy (who she might think will be president, though that probably won’t happen either).

The rule currently is that you’re not allowed to defend Tucker Carlson, and if you do, Jews will threaten to murder you. This is supposedly related to Tucker interviewing Nick Fuentes, but it really isn’t about that at all. It is simply that they view his interview with Fuentes as the best time to launch the attack they’ve wanted to do ever since he started talking about Israel (and really before that, when he was talking about the Ukraine AKA Israel 2).

Obviously, Tucker is doing something very bizarre with Fuentes. I have an article responding to the attacks I received after publishing the anti-Fuentes article that I haven’t published yet. It should probably be published soon, and then a followup about what Tucker is doing. Now Trump has defended Fuentes.

It’s unclear what the purpose of this article is at this point. The first half was written late last night when I was in my cups, an apology for the fact I didn’t have good enough internet to do memes today. Then I was like “wait, is this even funny?” But then I was like “ah, whatever, I’ll just wrap it up.” It’s unclear now how to wrap it up, because with that intro, this is clearly not the place to do a deep dive into the Trump-Vance-Tucker-Fuentes scandal.

Briefly: it is pretty obvious that JD Vance is behind this. They need a young “antisemite,” and who better than a totally compromised one who says that Russia is influencing America and is as bad as Israel (that is to say, someone who is edgy enough to fill the slot of “young antisemite, but is completely neutered and useless and no threat to power”)? The dumbest thing is people saying to me “if Fuentes was controlled opposition he wouldn’t talk about the Jews” and it’s like “oh, so if he was controlled opposition, he wouldn’t be opposition? Meaning the very concept of ‘controlled opposition’ cannot exist?”

In terms of what that means, it’s very obvious he’s compromised by feds. In his fawning interview, Tucker didn’t ask him about not getting charged on January 6th, which he had talked about for years and accused Fuentes of being a fed over. But it’s not even important. Tucker is offering to turn what is probably a high six figure or low seven figure annual income into a mid seven figure income. You would have to be ultra principled to say “no just ban me again on Twitter I’ll go back to my 20,000 viewers on Rumble that I had before Elon personally gave me my Twitter account back.” The fact Fuentes does cat fights with people, posts private DMs constantly, tried to blackmail me, tells his young impressionable viewers to kill themselves (for like an hour every day), lies and just makes things up constantly, and so on, demonstrates he’s not remotely principled, and is in fact simply obsessed with fame and money.

Vance and Tucker are both power mad. When a man sees a potentially clear path to seize control of a country, he always takes it. I would. It’s going to be interesting. I’m the only person saying that Tucker is working with Vance now and is planning to stab him in the back come 2027. Vance must have thought about that. If he hasn’t, someone who reads this site will tell him. He probably reads this site. So many relevant people did when I was posting regularly, which was the reason I kept going a lot longer than I should have. I would assume being around Tucker, he’s like he is on TV, and it’s hard to imagine him stabbing you in the back. But Vance needs Tucker more than Tucker needs Vance right now. Tucker’s whole thing is simply to not attack Trump directly, but he attacks all of the people around him, and could go after Vance. Trump is doing the same for Tucker.

Well. I have a whole lot about this. I have a fake podcast launching soon, which will be a placeholder for my incoming real podcast. I will be breaking down this sort of thing. And I will publish the Fuentes response, and then publish a long article addressing the issues of the three paragraphs above this one. We will need to ask about election meddling. Honestly, I don’t know if an election can be rigged in favor of a Republican. In 2024, they simply stood down. Trump was the elite favored candidate (specifically Israeli-aligned Jew and Silicon Valley elite; obviously there is still some kind of Democrat-aligned elite led by Jews who prioritize Israel’s hardline genocide policies less than other Jews), but he was also favored by the population, so all they had to do was not rig the election. But if Vance is able to get the nomination, he will have to run on Trump’s record, which will make it impossible to win, unless Democrats completely stand down like they did in 2024. (Hopefully at this point we can all admit I was right about all that, specifically when I said the hardcore Zionist Jew Ron Klain sent Biden out to get murdered at the debate and then Jews overrode Obama and his people, who wanted a real candidate, and went with the ringer Kamala, a woman who literally could not figure out how her own first name was pronounced, but knew for a fact you were a racist if you pronounced it wrong.) Tucker could win naturally, but although he is engaging in all of these dirty tricks, and in some ways reinforcing the system, I can’t imagine the Jews would allow him to become president. But it could be a funny election cycle, I guess.

I’m just glad I don’t live in America. I do sympathize with people who do, of course, and realize some of this might be less funny to you.

Anyway, I gotta cut it. I’ll circle back. Remember that phrase? Loved it. We will circle back, because I’m not doing a full analysis with that whole thing about pagers and ass-ramming up at the top. I’m a very serious person, and would not open a serious article with such puerile material.

Oh, and before I forget, do you guys know about this movie “One Battle After Another”? Wow just wow. Hopefully I get time to write about that this week. And I’ll try to have the memes up on Wednesday. Potentially tomorrow. Though probably not.

Peace out, bro.