My Apologies to Tom Brady

Tom Brady won his 7th Super Bowl on Sunday night, to the stomps and claps of excited fans.

I want to personally apologize to Tom, as I publicly stated years ago that his career was over and he should quit.

This is probably more than anything a testament to the power of the newest generation of performance enhancing drugs, but who knows – it might just be a testament to his wife’s Pilates instructor.

Whatever the case, no one has ever won this many Super Bowls, and no one has ever won a Super Bowl at this age.

Unlike the scumbag Conor McGregor, who gets paid to get beat up by brown people, Brady gets paid to destroy brown people. Patrick Mahomes is the most humiliated brown person since brown people were forced to use different drinking fountains.

For generations, the 25-year-old Mahomes will be known as the loser who lost to a man nearly twice his age.

I should have bet my life savings on this game, and I heavily regret not doing that. I should have known Brady still had one more in him.

So cheers to Tom and his beautiful family.

Just like the MyPillow Guy, Brady is one of the last remaining true Americans.

I do hope that he will now retire, as he’s surely not going to pull out an 8th win.

Cheers also to the fans, who bucked Anthony Fauci and did not do that gay ass social distancing nonsense.

Understand: a white Christian family man, and a public Trump supporter to boot, just beat the odds and humiliated a mulatto in the biggest annual event in the country.

This is the last of this sort of thing.

So you’d better enjoy it.

Again: I’m sorry for doubting you, Tom.

May God bless you and your family.