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Zeiger
Daily Stormer
December 19, 2016
Thots: humanity’s foremost source of innovation.
The nation’s great minds have been working hard at solving the gravest problem assailing our civilization.
Yes, that’s right – I’m talking about the negative feelings associated with whoring around all the time.
The previous breakthrough in slut technology, the one-night-stand, was great. But it’s starting to show it’s limitations. I mean, it’s 2016 after all – and progress demands innovation.
Enter the half-night-stand.
Nicole, 32, doesn’t have one-night stands. She has half-night stands. After sex, she heads back home and wakes up in her own bed.
Her hookup buddy doesn’t mind, because he, too, prefers half-night stands.
“We enjoy our time together but when it’s over, it’s over,” Nicole, who works as a writer and project manager in Dallas, Texas, told The Huffington Post. “We both have demanding careers and insanely early mornings. Starting the day in my own bed ― where I can race to my computer at 6 a.m., if necessary ― is just easier for everyone involved.”
Ah, it’s easier. Of course. It makes perfect sense. What a responsible lady.
32, childless and unmarried? Share more of your wisdom with us, oh master-slut.
Half-night stands are becoming more and more common. They’re essentially an abbreviated version of the one-night stand ― instead of staying the night, one person makes their exit after sex.
“If you don’t want anything more than sex, what’s the point of staying overnight with a stranger?”Bay Area sex therapist Celeste Hirschman told HuffPost. “It’s just easier to go home so you can sleep in your own comfortable bed, wake up, and start your day fresh.”
Those Jew sexologists are at the edge of every new development, aren’t they?
According to Tammy Nelson, a psychologist and author of The New Monogamy, the half-night stand trend suggests women are simply asserting more sexual agency.
“Women call the shots now,” she told HuffPost. “They choose to go to bed with a man or choose to leave after the sex and go home to their own place. And if they choose to stay, they make that choice. It really is a new time of sexual freedom for women.”
Riiiiight.
Because being a disposable masturbation aid for random dudes is “calling the shots.”
“Sheeesh, all these guys want to cuddle all night, and then settle down to create families. But we’re strong, independent women – we demand to have random sex with no strings attached, and we demand to leave in the middle of the night to go back home!”
Of course, no-strings-attached sex is nothing new. But this is no-strings attached sex without the awkward morning after. And naturally, it’s not only women who are hooking up and forgoing small talk the next morning.
Max DuBowy, a 26-year-old gay writer and life coach in Portland, Oregon, leaves early, too, by and large without regrets.
Sluts have much to learn from the wisdom of sodomites. They’ve flat-out mastered the art of destroying their lives through debauchery.
Thanks, Huffington Post, for helping us reach new heights as a society.
Progress truly is a road without end.
