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There is a lot of confusion among men about women’s sexual attraction mechanism, largely because women want it that way, but also because female characters in media are all written by men.
The first and most important thing to understand here is that sex is about reproduction. That’s the only reason humans or any other animal does sex. The fact that modern society has separated sex from reproduction doesn’t change the fact that the underlying biological mechanisms that drive us to sex are solely driven by the internal drive to pass on the genes.
As a man, you understand your own sexual attraction mechanism. You see a woman’s body, with your eyes, and if you see signs of fertility – youth, health, fat and muscle deposits in the correct place – this creates sexual arousal. It’s very straightforward: you are attracted to her because she is capable of producing healthy children.
Aside from physical form, you look at signs that she is in heat. You can’t see those signs now, because women all wear makeup, which is designed to simulate the way their faces look when they are ovulating: they redden their cheeks, they darken their lips and eyes. Makeup is a big nasty trick women do, because without it, they would only be especially sexually attractive for 72 hours a month, and this would vastly reduce their ability to manipulate men.
Aside from the physical body, there are other attractiveness measures, which are minor: innocence, submissiveness, a childish disposition. But these are highly secondary.
The most relevant secondary attractiveness characteristic is appearance of availability. This can obviously go against the attraction to innocence and submissiveness, but it can be more powerful. If a woman demonstrates low availability, either because she has no interest or because she appears to already be owned by another man, you risk wasting your time or being injured or killed for pursuing her, and this is a turnoff. In this current time, women try to maximize signs of availability, again to increase their ability to manipulate men. Showing their bodies off is a sign of availability, as is speaking in a way that is provocative and making a lot of eye contact. They are doing this to manipulate you.
It’s All About the Biological Imperative of Passing on Genes
Perhaps slightly more esoteric, but still obvious is this: sexual attraction is not about feeling good, it’s not about love. It is about a desire to inseminate, because living things have a drive to reproduce, and mammals reproduce sexually. The good feelings around sex and the feelings of “love” are simulated in your brain in order to cause you to engage in the reproductive act, and then to a lesser extent to cause you to stay with the woman and raise the child, which obviously gives your offspring a better chance at survival.
Modern men are extremely susceptible to these emotions because for many generations, since the dawn of civilization, reproductive success has been based on men acting as fathers to children. Before civilization, you could roll through a tribal village and rape some woman and then slip away, and there would be a high likelihood that the child would be raised in a group setting by the tribe to which the woman belonged. After the start of civilization, the nuclear family has played a key role, and children without fathers had a low rate of survival (that has obviously changed now since the government started funding single mothers, but we haven’t adapted to that yet).
To this day, black people put a very low premium on marriage and fatherhood because their time in civilization has been so minimal. In Africa, where the blacks evolved, up until a couple hundred years ago, children were raised communally, and it didn’t really matter who a child’s father was, since the tribe was going to look after it. Blacks have a lot of different problems, but their lack of concern over monogamy, marriage, and two-parent households is a direct result of the fact that this is new to them and has never been necessary for their survival.
You’ll also note that blacks are a lot more likely to say things like “we don’t love these hoes,” whereas whites make faggot emotional music about how much they love women and all of these strong emotions they feel about women.
It’s not love. It’s just fucking. All of this stuff is total dress-up for the sexual act, which helps men justify it all in their minds.
I’m not saying you don’t love your wife, but that is something that happens over a period of years, and it is not related to sex. The “eros” of sexual emotion gives way to the “philia” of mutual care during the process of marriage. Historically, this was a seamless transition, but nowadays, people have become fixated on sexual infatuation and think this is what “love” is. So you have situations where people say “I don’t love her anymore” and what they mean is that they are no longer sexually infatuated with her because they’ve gotten bored. If someone is saying that, they never developed real love in the first place, and simply did not understand the difference between sexual infatuation and actual love. Probably, it is impossible for sexual infatuation to turn into real feelings of love if you don’t have children. That appears to be what creates the bond.
So, What About Women?
While virtually 100% of men’s sexual attraction mechanism is based on what a woman looks like, women have a more varied set of needs.
The underlying drives of men revolve more or less entirely around a healthy body that will produce healthy children. Further, a man can impregnate unlimited amounts of women and just abandon them, and is only restrained by his own psychological mechanisms which cause him to have these “love” emotions.
A woman, on the other hand, is pretty well locked into place if some man impregnates her. She has to have some reason to think that man will stick around and take care of her for the 5 or so years where she is going to have to first be pregnant, then care for a small child who can’t do anything for itself and has to be watched constantly.
Most relevant here, however, is that if she is to bear this man’s child, and he is to become her protector, she wants him to be as powerful and influential as possible. She wants that for herself and for her child. If she’s going to commit to him, which she basically has to do in a post-tribal age when the nuclear family is necessary for the survival of women and children, then she wants the most resources she can possibly obtain, and she wants the highest possible social status. Generally, wealth and status are going to be linked.
Status, then, is the key determiner of women’s sexual attraction to a man. That is why rich and famous men in their fifties and sixties can easily obtain attractive women who are 1/3rd their age.
This is also why women, all things being equal, tend to be attracted to men who are older than them. While the most attractive age for a woman is 18 (actually significantly younger if you were allowed to do those studies), men reach peak attractiveness at 50.
Part of that is obviously due to differences in the way the sexes age, but that is obviously connected to fertility with women and status with men.
Insofar as Women Have an Attraction to a Man’s Body
I would not say that the physical attractiveness of a man is something that is totally unconsidered by women, but it should be viewed in a very strict context of the man’s physical appearance being representative of status.
Most obviously, we can see that being overweight is a serious sign of low status in our society, so obviously a woman is going to find a physically fit man more attractive than a fat slob. The same is true of height, with tall men typically having higher status in society, being more respected by other men, and more likely to be leaders. (In many ancient tribes, whatever male was the tallest was automatically made the leader, because male height is such a natural marker of status.)
That does not mean, however, that a short and fat man with extremely high status is not going to do extremely well with women. Of course he will.
What is not true is that women are attracted to extremely muscular men. I’ve spent most of my adult years in pretty great physical shape, and while I would get constant comments about this from men, the only women who ever commented on it were paid prostitutes (who are obviously looking at different things in men than a normal woman).
The symmetry of a man’s face has become more important in recent decades, because it is more associated with status, because of the entertainment culture. The “looksmaxxing” stuff on the internet is not completely wrong, but it is totally wrong in the assumption that looks are anything other than a marker of status.
In terms of the situation where black men, who are certainly not wealthy, are considered attractive by white women, there are several factors there. Firstly, being aggressive and quick to violence is considered by some women to be a marker of status. “He must be doing pretty well if he doesn’t care about anything.” Secondarily, blacks have a sort of special status in Western society now, and a white woman dating a black man can be looked at as a sign she has high status and is enlightened in some way. Still, BMWF relationships are relatively rare.
Birth Control Using Women and Their Botched Sexual Mechanisms
All of the above applies to a natural situation in a civilization. However, in the modern situation, we have these things called “birth control pills” which many or most young women are on. For those who don’t know, these are estrogen pills. Obviously, the sexual mechanisms are based on hormones, and these pills effectively completely wreck a woman’s endocrine system, turning them into something very different sexually.
This is a topic of its own, which is mostly beyond the scope of this essay, but it is worth mentioning that these women may exhibit totally unnatural sexual impulses.
On these pills, the reproductive impulses of a woman completely shut down, so effectively, instead of looking for a traditionally attractive mate (as defined above), they look for a man who can serve as an emotional support item, similar to a pet. They also want a man who will work as a kind of servant, so do not look for the dominant and powerful men who would normally be attractive to them. This is what most “boyfriends” are, and it is why you often see women with men who are pudgy, low status, and clearly below their own sexual attractiveness level.
There have been several different studies on this, but one 2019 PNAS study showed that women who had a partner and stopped taking birth control often lost all attraction to the man and wanted someone who met traditional standards of attractiveness.
There is No Point in Even Thinking About Women
My advice to men is to not think about women at all, at least until you are where you want to be in life, or on that path.
If you have uncontrollable sexual urges, it is better to go to a prostitute (in Christianity, this is no more of a sin than any other form of fornication, and is arguably more ethical).
There are only actually two kinds of women, and those are wives and whores. Professional whores offer a service that can be useful when you are working to become a successful man. Unprofessional whores, i.e., women you meet on Tinder or at the bar, do not offer much other than suffering.
If you do what is good for you, which is build a career and establish yourself as a powerful member of society, you will also be making yourself attractive to the kind of women who you would want to have as a wife. Age is completely irrelevant, and as shown above, you will be more attractive to 18 year old girls when you’re in your thirties or forties.
The sexual emotion can be very powerful, but it needs to be suppressed if you wish to be successful in life. Ironically, this includes reproductive success. Spending your teens and twenties, when you have the highest levels of energy, when you’ve got that dog in you, chasing women is a completely retarded way to behave, especially in this current environment. The women you will have access to will not be of the quality you are looking for, and insofar as you do get access to a high quality woman, it will be temporary access, and she will leave you. If you have money and are established in society, you are in a much better position to keep the woman around than if you have no money or status.
Unfortunately, you have to plan your life logically, rather than just making decisions based on what feels good or seems intuitive.
