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I tried to talk to a vegetable once, but he just punched my eyelids and smoked my cigarette.
Then he raped an angel-faced banana and cut her head off with a shovel.
Then he denied Sandy Hook.
I don’t trust vegetables one bit, and I believe we should be able to call for genocides against them.
Legislation that grants nature similar rights to humans is becoming more popular across the globe, with multiple countries and localities approving nature rights laws and several more considering similar legislation.
Panama, Ecuador and Bolivia have all moved to recognize the rights of nature with national legislation, a movement that has gained traction around the world and in the United States, with 10 states having some form of legal protections for nature, according to a report by CBS News.
The most recent country to join the movement was Panama, where the new law was used to shut down one of the largest copper mines in the world.
Behind the effort in that country was Callie Veelenturf, a 31-year old American marine biologist from Massachusetts who has spent much of her career studying and advocating for the protection of sea turtles.
Callie Veelenturf
But a legal battle to protect herself from sexual harassment in 2018 became a turning point for Veelenturf, who realized nature did not have the same legal recourse she had as a human.
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In the U.S., Seattle recently recognized the rights of salmon to pass through the city’s dams, according to the CBS News report, while North Carolina has begun considering giving rights to the Haw River ecosystem.
Vegetables are now suing the moving company for refusing to hire them.
Congress has called a committee on anti-fruit sentiment by vegetables.
Elon Musk has issued an apology to fruit and vowed to visit a strawberry patch where a carrot cut the stems off of 40 strawberry saplings.
