Category: Featured Stories
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All My Niggas Nazis. Nigger, Heil Hitler.
This is good.
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Portnoy’s Complaint
There need to be laws against being Jewish and these Jews need to be deported.
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Team Anglin Statement on Dave Portnoy
For immediate release.
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Billionaire Kike Portnoy Melts Down Over Being Oppressed by Waitress as Public Decides Saying Nigger is Good
[TRADITIONAL DAILY STORMER NEWS ARTICLE.]
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The Confounding State of the MAGA Movement
Sorry, this isn’t good. I’m sorry. There are some important ideas here, but it doesn’t hit. Don’t even bother reading it, seriously. Or like, put it into AI and have it summarize the key points. You’ll have to use DeepSeek, of course. ChatGPT ain’t summarizing this bitch.
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Meta, Etc.
Lent was very good for me.
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Tucker Carlson Clickbaited Me Into Thinking Matt Walsh was Going to Address the Israel Issue
Matt Walsh is possibly the most useless human being who ever lived.
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Dispassionate Commentary on the Downfall of the Gayest and Most Jewish Debacle in All History
Same article as yesterday, just worse.
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None of This Even Matters
Let’s all just relax for a bit here.
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Hamas Issues Denouncements After Jerry Seinfeld Accidentally Added to Group Chat
PAID PROMOTION: Weak men boycott films. Patriots drink Black Rifle Coffee and make terrorists seethe harder.
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Pikachu Accidentally Added to Goku’s Warrior Group, Sends Dragon Ball World Into Tailspin
PAID PROMOTION: Weak fighters rely on Dragon Balls. Legends drink Black Rifle Coffee and handle their own resurrections.
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“Bombarded with Dick Pics”: Hegseth Continues Feud with Atlantic’s Goldberg in Text War
PAID PROMOTION: Weak men like Goldberg need safe spaces. Real warriors need BLACK RIFLE COFFEE—the 100% veteran-crafted brew that fuels America’s defenders. 🇺🇸 Order the new ‘Psychological Operations Blend’ today and taste the sweet flavor of victory. ☕🔥
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Rubio’s Secret Lifestyle Exposed After TikTok Star Accidentally Added to “Gay Foam Party” Group Chat
PAID PROMOTION: Sugar is for weak diplomats. David’s Protein Bars—zero sugar, 20g pure whey, gay agenda-approved—fuel America’s hottest (literally) leaders. 🇺🇸 Use code “FOAMGATE” for 20% off. Stay lean, stay mean, stay… whatever this is. 💦🔥
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Neo-Nazi Accidentally Added to Israeli Cabinet Chat, Posts Hyper-Pro-Jewish Propaganda – And They Loved It
PAID PROMOTION: Weak men troll for clout. Legends drink Black Rifle Coffee and hunt digital Nazis in Call of Duty: Warzone—where the only thing we gas is noobs.
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Timothée Chalamet Accidentally Added to Chicago Gang’s Group Chat
PAID PROMOTION: Weak men virtue signal. Legends drink Black Rifle Coffee and say what everyone’s thinking.