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CHICAGO, IL—Hollywood’s favorite sensitive artiste Timothée Chalamet found himself in deep, deep trouble this week after being mistakenly added to the “Rollin’ 60s Crips” group chat—and emerging with the explosive hot take that “Black people in Chicago hate gays.”
• Chicago activists FURIOUS, pointing out South Side LGBTQ+ organizers who’ve been shot at for their work
• Black Twitter erupts: “White gays will use us as a stepping stone to conservatism” trends
• Trump Jr. tweets: “Welcome to the team, Timmy! Next stop: CPAC keynote?”
THE “TRUMP EFFECT” OBSERVED
Pundits note this is the first time a major liberal star has:
• Casually slandered Black people
• Gotten applause from conservatives
• Still kept his Vogue cover
CHALAMET’S DAMAGE CONTROL
His publicist released: “Timothée was deeply moved by his brief time in the struggle. He looks forward to portraying it in his next indie film.”
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