Trump-Biden Debate [FULL VIDEO + BRILLIANT COMMENTARY]

Above is the full video of Thursday’s Trump-Biden debate.

Right now, I haven’t watched it yet. I was doing something else when it was live and didn’t care enough to stop doing that to turn it on live (listening to Tim Dillon and playing video games), especially since I knew I would have to pause it to take notes anyway.

I’ve seen some clips and I think they overdid Biden’s drugs. He’s bug-eyed and his jaw is open.

Okay, so, now I’m gonna watch it, and give live updates.

UPDATE I: 

Okay, I started watching it.

This is boring. It’s rigged up to be boring. They can’t interrupt each other. There is no live audience. This is basically a fake debate.

But the looks on Biden’s face are worth it.

There is the confusion look, but it is also a look of terror.

I think he might be worried Trump is going to physically attack him and totally destroy him.

UPDATE II:

This really sucks ass.

I’ve seen clips of Trump recently when he was on fire. He was on fire during the All-In interview. He’s got good energy here, but it’s boring. He’s not saying crazy shit. Someone told him “talk normally and just let Biden look senile.”

I’ve not been this bored since some ratty skinny-fat millennial at a bar started talking to me about his girlfriend.

I would rather watch that guy have a conversation with his girlfriend (if she exists) than this.

I don’t care about any of this.

None of this matters.

Oh great, now Tapper is doing January 6.

What’s the next topic? The war of 1812?

No one gives a shit about January 6th.

UPDATE III: 

This is the best still I’m going to get of Trump:

If instead of this stupid boring debate, that energy right there was directed to like, you know, all of his supporters, all of the people who have sworn their lives to him, to start buying Hiluxes and [REDACTED], then we might have something to talk about.

Instead we have this fake debate for a fake election and I am sickened that I’m professionally obligated to watch this and write about it.

UPDATE IV: 

Now Brandon is saying that the J6ers were not patriots.

What does that even mean?

Even if they committed crimes, these are obviously the most patriotic people.

If you had like, a bunch of MAGA guys in Hiluxes driving through the streets of every major capital with [REDACTED] and then, like, [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED], you could say “well, unless these guys managed to [REDACTED], we’re gonna have to put them all in prison for this, and probably a lot of them will be executed.” You wouldn’t ever say “they are not patriots.”

If they weren’t patriots, why would they bother buying a Hilux and trying to make some shit happen? What would be the motivation? Mental illness? Well, in that case, they couldn’t even be held responsible for anything they did, because according to the current logic, it’s impossible for a mentally ill person to commit a crime.

UPDATE V: 

Okay, finally something funny happened.

Brandon was like “this guy had sex with a porn star while his wife was pregnant,” and Trump was like “firstly, I didn’t have sex with a porn star.”

That’s probably going to be the peak moment on this boring video.

Biden just brought up Charlottesville.

What’s next? The Siege of Constantinople?

UPDATE VI: 

This is another “you know what, fuck it, I want all my supporters, right now, to go buy a Hillux” screengrab:

He knows all this shit is fake and retarded.

He was already president once and he wasn’t allowed to do anything. He says the border was good under him, and that isn’t even true. It’s just true in comparison to now. Same with the economy or the wars or whatever. Yeah, shit was better then. No one denies that. But it wasn’t good.

Frankly, there are things that were better under Obama than under Trump. Things just keep getting worse every time.

There is only one solution here, and it involves a marvel of Japanese engineering and one neat little trick called “TURBO DIESEL.”

That’s the deal.

Every other situation involves everything getting fucked and just hoping the Chinese manage to collapse the US empire.

UPDATE VII: 

Holy shit this bitch has fucking commercials.

The stream isn’t showing them. They’re probably all for Pfizer and Bud Light.

I wish they were on the stream. I want to know what they are. They probably threw in that retro “help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” commercial because the average age of the viewers of this debate is like, 87.

UPDATE VIII: 

I wish Trump would say “white people.” He acted like he was going to and then said “Hispanics.”

Do white people just not exist?

Personally, I feel like I exist.

Now Biden is saying he’s going to get black people into high tech.

Are blacks even asking for that?

This is a good screengrab:

UPDATE IX:

I’m learning on Twitter.com that cryptocurrency is not even mentioned in this debate.

I guess that shows the care these people have for millennials who are trying to come up in this shitty boomer hellscape called JSA.

UPDATE X: 

Oh okay, let’s talk about junkies. But not talk about killing them as an obvious solution.

UPDATE XI:

Biden is talking about building machines to produce fentanyl.

Based?

UPDATE XII: 

Biden started challenging Trump to a golf competition and Trump kept saying “let’s do it then” and Biden just kept going on about his handicap and Trump was like “let’s not act like children.”

But yeah, this shit sucks.

I don’t recommend it.

I don’t even recommend reading this summary I wrote here, but it’s too late for you to take that advice now.

FINAL UPDATE: 

The Trump Team released this video of the “lowlights” of Brandon’s performance.

Honestly, watching the full thing, it doesn’t seem that Biden did that bad, considering that he is so far gone. But those 95 seconds right there are brutal.

CNN’s poll reflected that brutality.

My thought on this is that everyone who supports Biden knows that he’s gone, so they are supporting the people around him, who they apparently think are taking care of things. I mean, you can still go to a restaurant in most parts of the country. You can’t really walk around, but you can drive around. Blacks haven’t started jumping on people’s moving cars yet.

I guess his supporters think everything is okay, and anyway, at least Trump isn’t on TV every day reminding them of their father (or some alternate reality version of their father).

But the reality is: the election is fake and it just simply doesn’t matter who you vote for.

I don’t think people should vote.

I think people should buy Hiluxi (with Turbo Diesel) and get ready for some seriously funny shit.