Daily Stormer The Most Censored Publication in History
Roy Batty
Daily Stormer
February 10, 2019
In light of White Genocide becoming a reality, and no longer just a Neon-Nazi meme, Daily Stormer has decided to start offering Pidgin lessons, free of charge!
God knows you’ll need to know it soon if you don’t plan on being a Boomer and dying within the next 15 years.
Here’s some pidgin to get you started.
Woman wey take her hand, pack her poo-poo comot di toilet of man wey she dey friend because ”e no gree flush” enter trouble, after she go try collect di poo-poo back.
The woman wey dey learn gymnastics, just start to waka with Bristol student, Liam Smith, for di first time, when she take fear troway di poo-poo comot for window.
Instead make di thing land for garden, di poo-poo come jam between two windows wey no dey open wide.
Di lady decide to carry her thing back; she use head enter the small space wey di poo-poo bin dey, but na so she come trap for there, and trouble start.
This is a real article.
And your assignment is to translate it.
This picture came with the article, and it may or may not help you in your mission.
Mr Smith say im no get choice but to call fire service make dem help remove di girl, along with her poo-poo.
Now, im don dey try raise money to repair di windows wey break, so e write all di tori for inside one University of Bristol crowd funding page.
Mr Smith write say: ”I go one Tinder (social media app) waka with di woman and we end up for di house wey l dey share. Di evening waka nice; we eat for one popular chicken restaurant, drink beer small, and then we end up for my house, where we continue to dey drink wine and watch movie.”
I know what you’re thinking and yes, someone actually sat down and wrote this.
Yes.
Let’s just keep soldiering on.
Im say di woman go im toilet and when she return, she begin dey shake, as she tell am wetin she do.
The toilet window dey open but another window dey block am, and na only one small gap dey separate dem.
Before Mr Smith fit run go look for hammer, di woman don climb with her head first. Na so she come jam, hook for there.
Im say ”…after di fire brigade show, dem surprise with wetin dem see but dem organise themselves.”
This takes a greater mind than my own to decode.
First things first, I bet you $100 that a white chick wrote this.
A white chick with a degree from a liberal arts program, specializing in pidgin.
Because this is the sort of thing that only the most SWPLy huwhyte person could faithfully transcribe into the King’s English without feeling a pang of shame for doing it.
Btw, have you decoded it, yet?
From what I can tell, some guy invited a Tinder goblina over and she decided to go #2 in his loo.
Like… on a first date? At the other person’s house… who even does that?
Well, to be honest, I have done that – but I’m not proud of it.
Anyways, that’s when things took a turn for the macabre.
She tried to flush and it didn’t work. The toilet got clogged.
Which…
Maybe we all aren’t so different after all?
At that point, she decided to get creative tho.
She decided to throw her shit out of the window.
The next part is where my pidgin skills fail me. As the events continued to unfold however, this happened:
And then the fire department got involved.
If anyone can finish translating the story, I would be very grateful if you could please reach out to me.
Because despite my initial misgivings, this story has managed to intrigue and entice me.
I would like to learn more about this serious of unfortunate events.
Furthermore, when all is said and done, THE PEOPLE! need to know if he ended up putting his benis inside of her bagina or not.
Also, I am pleasantly surprised by the quality of reporting that I found on BBC Pidgin.
Where else would you find such hard-hitting analysis and timely coverage of issues that face the average Ukistani?
