Ukrainians get on some kiddy shit.

I guess that’s easy to say as an American, but wow.

And I guess this was a successful publicity stunt for the bitch’s Instagram account. I don’t think the guy even figured out that he could be promoting something and making money, which I guess is symbolic of the larger vaginal crises complex.

RT:

Two Ukrainian lovebirds who chained themselves together on Valentine’s Day, as a way to put their relationship to the test, have opted to remove the handcuffs and go their separate ways after four months of being stuck together.

The 123 days of doing everything while attached to each other, including changing clothes and going to the toilet, took a toll on the young couple.

Viktoria Pustovitova and Alexander Kudlay, from the city of Kharkov, had their chain cut on Thursday in Kiev, where they were surrounded by cameras and bombarded with questions from both national and local journalists.

They were also accompanied by a representative from the National Records of Ukraine, Vitaly Zorin, who confirmed that the couple now has the record for the most time handcuffed to another person.

Once cut apart, the two couldn’t wait to go their separate ways, with both Pustovitova and Kudlay visually over the Moon to be free.

During the chain-breaking ceremony, the two revealed that they are now looking to develop independently and away from each other. Pustovitova will even move to a completely different part of the country, it was reported.

Pustovitova noted that she will soon return to a “full life,” hoping that this story will be “a great example for all couples in Ukraine.”

What?

According to Kudlay, they didn’t know each other very well before they committed to being tied up, and they both realized that they have “different views on life.”

“Now we have improved communication, we know each other thoroughly. And common sense suggested that neither Vika nor I needed such a relationship. It will only harm us,” Kudlay said.

No one needs such a relationship.

Immediate breakup.

Bitch was ugly as heck too.

Very harsh features that not even insta makeup can cover.

Bitch looks like she about to start growling at a nigga.

If you’re gonna do some kiddy love shit, never go full bulldog.

Listen up: all through history, men spent less than an hour a day with their spouse. There’s nothing to do together really, other than chit-chat or have sex. The chit-chat gets boring quick and then turns sour, and the sex only needs to happen once a month.

Men and women should be separate, including lovers.

It’s simple.

In general, it doesn’t even matter if you go full bulldog because you should only catch the bitch for a few minutes a day.

This thing with your “girlfriend”/wife being your buddy is retarded nonsense from romantic comedies. It is a feminist hostage crisis, a kind of #buckbreaking.

The only thing you need that bitch for is breeding, and if you’re asking more than that from her, you’re going to be disappointed and totally abused.

Keep it simple, kid: acting like a cartoonish version of an alpha male can’t go wrong (except legally).

You think Conan would handcuff himself to a woman?

Nope!

If Conan was going to get handcuffed to anything, it would be the ground of a dungeon with a gigantic snake in it.

He would fight the snake with his legs and feet – and win.

If he was going to handcuff a woman to anything, it would be a radiator – Shutterstock style.

Remember: the only legitimate form of sex is RAPE.

There is no such word as “rape” in the Bible.

Conan doesn’t ask girls for permission.

He grabs them and takes them to his slave harem.

Only if they’re VIRGINS.

What does he do with non-virgins?

Well, let’s just say that sluts start sweating when Conan checks the hymen.

This is the Law of the Lord: slaughter their men and their spoiled women, take the virgins as spoil.

Show that to a Judeo-Christian vagina-worshiper and watch them squirm.

The real rape has yet to commence!

(But seriously kids, it’s just a psychological thing until the machines fail and the system collapses. Don’t get done up on rape charges. But verily, also do not handcuff yourself to a woman or abide her presence for more than 15 minutes.)