Daily Stormer

Venezuela Menaced by Rapidly Declining Old Coot Trump

Tony Zamboni

After taking a short break from slaughtering the peoples of the Near East, the peace-loving US Ultra-Zionist War Regime has turned its sights upon Venezuela, for the crime of violating the democratic principles of who we are. As is well known, human rights democracy is a system of principles under the rule of law, which means everyone has to vote and America gets to kill them and steal their stuff if they vote wrong.

In order to fully understand Venezuela, we must go back to the year 1902, when President Cipriano Castro repudiated the country’s foreign debts, leading the European powers to join together and impose a blockade on…

Uh, hang on. I don’t think Trump or Rubio read any of this stuff. We can probably fast forward a bit.

In the year 1998, Hugo Chávez was elected to his first term as President and began to enact the Bolivarian Revolution, nationalizing Venezuela’s oil industry…

No wait, Trump probably slept through this part of the briefing too. Skip.

In November of 2020, the history of Venezuela began when the illustrious Rudy Giuliani went out to the Four Seasons parking lot after dyeing his hair with molasses and declared that Nicolás Maduro had stolen the US presidential election. With the help of Hugo Chavez’s ghost, he had hacked the Dominion voting machines and taken away all of Trump’s votes, in an act of pure Grinch-like evil.

Giuliani’s revelations were backed by Sidney Powell, the renowned woman lawyer genius, making the case ironclad.

With that irrefutable evidence, it was now clear that Maduro had forgotten the rules of our principles, and therefore, in the words of esteemed Judeo-Anal mouthpiece Lindsey Graham, it was time for him to go.

So, will it happen, or won’t it? After analyzing all of the possible diplomatic and military contingencies, I have come to the conclusion that all of this is gay, and also retarded.

I mean, I don’t really have to explain to you that the US government is always lying about everything, right? We’re all adults here. That’s just basic common sense stuff I shouldn’t have to keep on proving over and over again.

Anyway, the official story is that when he’s not busy running an entire country, Maduro is actually the secret leader of an evil drug cartel. Secretly, even though all the drugs are actually coming from other countries, Maduro is still the mastermind behind it.

Scary stuff. I was asking myself, “why didn’t they do something about this years ago?” Then my assistant, who heard me talking to myself, told me to look up Operation Gideon. As it turns out, in 1948, the Jewish Haganah stormed a bunch of defenseless Palestinian villages and expelled all the Christians and Moslems. I was confused about what this had to do with Venezuela, but then my assistant clarified that Operation Gideon is also the name of a thing that happened in 2020, when US mercenaries tried to lead an invasion of Venezuela.

That’s an interesting coincidence. Though one must suppose there are only so many names for things, eventually leading to things being repeated. (Like, you go to a state fair, and you get scammed by carnies, and say “hey, this doesn’t seem very fair, why do they call it that?” Then you realize they ran out of words and had to start reusing them.)

I’d been thinking, “wouldn’t it be hilarious if Trump tried to invade Venezuela and ended up having a big Bay of Pigs disaster?” But it turns out that already happened, and they somehow managed to mess it up even worse. With the Bay of Pigs, the CIA’s troops at least made it onto the beach and fought a battle before they got wiped out. In Operation Gideon, the Venezuelans knew they were coming, and started shooting them before they even got off the boats. The entire army surrendered without putting up a fight at all.

This makes Trump the first leader to lose a war to Venezuela (literally the single war they won was against Spain to establish the country 200 years ago, then lost every other war they engaged in before effortlessly defeating Donald Trump). The US responded to this fiasco by pretending they didn’t know these guys and had nothing to do with it, and then never talking about it again so everyone would forget that it ever happened.

Jordan Goudreau, the leader of this failed invasion, has since admitted that the “Cartel of the Suns,” which Trump claims Maduro is the leader of, was just a CIA hoax.

LA Times, October 20:

Jordan Goudreau, a former U.S. Green Beret involved in a failed 2020 armed incursion into Venezuela, has alleged that the CIA created the so-called “Cartel de los Soles” in the 1990s and later used it to justify U.S. policies against successive Venezuelan governments.

In an interview with journalist Max Blumenthal for The Grayzone, the ex–special operations contractor said the network attributed to Venezuelan military figures was “a CIA construction” that predates the presidency of Hugo Chávez.

“As far back as the 1990s, the Cartel de los Soles was created by the CIA,” said Goudreau “This isn’t a secret; it’s the truth,” he said. When asked to confirm whether U.S. intelligence was responsible for forming the group, he replied, “Oh, absolutely. That’s not new.”

“We think your president is in charge of the fake drug group that we started ourselves, so now we’re putting up a $50 million bounty to murder him.” That’s really the story they went with. They used to put a little more effort into the lies they told us about countries they were getting ready to invade. Nukes, chemical weapons, baby beheadings, people being turned into upholstery and cleaning products, etc. Now they don’t even care whether anyone believes it, because in a democracy, public opinion does not matter. The people have no representation in the system, and no way to demand redress for their grievances. Things will just happen regardless of what anyone wants. And most of the people are too busy being fat, homosexual, and stoned to pay attention to it anyway.

Also, the CIA admitted this whole story was fake.

NPR:

The U.S. intelligence community says it does not believe Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro directs Tren de Aragua (TDA), a criminal gang that operates in the U.S., in a newly declassified, redacted memo. The memo contradicts claims by President Trump, who has accused Maduro of controlling the gang, which Trump says is invading the U.S. The government has relied on this argument to justify the deportation of alleged gang members under the Alien Enemies Act.

The April 7 memo obtained by the Freedom of the Press Foundation on May 5 and shared with NPR, shows that the Office of the Director of National Intelligence concluded that while some members of the Maduro regime may tolerate or work with Tren de Aragua, there’s no evidence of widespread, organized cooperation. “The Maduro regime probably does not have a policy of cooperating with TDA and is not directing TDA movement to and operations in the United States.” In fact, the memo states, Maduro and top Venezuelan officials view the gang as a threat. The memo states that the intelligence council, “has not observed the regime directing TDA, including to push migrants to the United States, which probably would require extensive coordination and funding between regime entities and TDA leaders …”

But everyone loves a fireworks show, so that’s what Trump’s been giving them, sending the US Air Force to blow up random fishing boats, which he claims are both Venezuelan and full of drugs. Of course, if they were smuggling drugs on these boats, Trump could send in the Navy SEALs to board them and seize the cargo as proof.

No, they’d probably just smoke it all themselves. Or plant the evidence. Every US special forces soldier is a raging drug fiend. That’s a well-known fact throughout the military. They’re not crack shots, they’re crack addicts.

Forget the fact one boat had 11 people, and Colombian fishermen’s families are saying the people in another boat were just fishing. Can this fishing boat drive hundreds of miles across open ocean?

Destroying random boats that may or may not have drugs on them is just empty spectacle to allow hopeful but gullible peasants to believe that some sort of action is being taken to stop the total decimation of their country by opioids, when in reality no meaningful action has been taken. Go for a walk down any city street. Everyone is still miserable, everything is dirty and disgusting, and fentanyl is everywhere. Nothing is being done about it, and nothing has changed.

The cartoon villain plots against Venezuela have continued to escalate, with the latest failed scheme being an attempt to bribe Maduro’s airplane pilot into kidnapping him.

AP:

The federal agent had a daring pitch for Nicolás Maduro’s chief pilot: All he had to do was surreptitiously divert the Venezuelan president’s plane to a place where U.S. authorities could nab the strongman.

In exchange, the agent told the pilot in a clandestine meeting, the aviator would be made a very rich man.

The conversation was tense, and the pilot left noncommittal, though he provided the agent, Edwin Lopez, with his cell number — a sign he might be interested in helping the U.S. government.

Over the next 16 months, even after retiring from his government job in July, Lopez kept at it, chatting with the pilot over an encrypted messaging app.

The pair texted on WhatsApp and Telegram about a dozen times. But the conversations seemed to go nowhere.

After the August text about the $50 million reward, Lopez sent another saying there was “still time left to be Venezuela’s hero and be on the right side of history.” But he did not hear back.

On Sept. 18, Lopez was watching the news of Trump’s buildup in the Caribbean when he saw a post on X by an anonymous plane spotter who had closely tracked the comings and goings of Maduro’s jetliners over the years, according to three of the people familiar with the matter. The user, @Arr3ch0, a play on Venezuelan slang for “furious,” posted a screenshot of a flight tracking map that showed a presidential Airbus making an odd loop after taking off from Caracas.

“Where are you heading?” wrote Lopez, using a new number.

“Who is this?” responded Villegas, either not recognizing the number or feigning ignorance.

When Lopez pressed about what they discussed in the Dominican Republic, Villegas grew combative, calling Lopez a “coward.”

“We Venezuelans are cut from a different cloth,” Villegas wrote. “The last thing we are is traitors.”

Lopez sent him a photo of them talking to each other on a red leather couch at the airplane hangar the previous year.

“Are you crazy?” Villegas replied.

“A little…,” wrote Lopez.

Two hours later, Lopez tried one last time, mentioning Villegas’ three children by name and a better future he said awaited them in the U.S.

“The window for a decision is closing,” Lopez wrote, shortly before Villegas blocked his number. “Soon it will be too late.”

Realizing that Villegas wasn’t going to join the plan, Lopez and others in the anti-Maduro movement decided to try to unnerve the Venezuelan leader, according to three of the people familiar with the operation.

The day after the testy WhatsApp exchange between Lopez and Villegas, Marshall Billingslea – a close ally of Venezuela’s opposition – took action. A former national security official in Republican administrations, Billingslea had for weeks been trolling Maduro. Now he brought Villegas into his cyberbullying.

“Feliz cumpleanos ‘General’ Bitner!” he wrote in a mocking birthday wish on X the day Villegas turned 48.

Billingslea included side-by-side photographs that would be sure to raise eyebrows. One was the same one that Lopez had shared with Villegas the day before over WhatsApp, except the agent had been cropped out of it. The other was an official air force photo with a gold star denoting his new rank affixed to the shoulder epaulet.

The X post was published at 3:01 p.m. — a minute before another sanctioned Airbus that Maduro has been known to fly took off from Caracas’ airport. Twenty minutes later, the plane unexpectedly returned to the airport.

The birthday wish, seen by almost 3 million people, sent shockwaves across Venezuelan social media, as Maduro’s opponents speculated the pilot had been ordered to return to face interrogation. Others wondered if he would be jailed. Nobody saw or heard from Villegas for days. Then, on Sept. 24, the pilot resurfaced, in an air force flight suit, on a widely followed TV show hosted by Interior Minister Diosdado Cabello.

Cabello laughed off any suggestion that Venezuela’s military could be bought. As he praised Villegas’ loyalty, calling him an “unfailing, kick-ass patriot, ” the pilot stood by silently, raising a clenched fist in a display of his loyalty.

So their Bay of Pigs redux failed, then they said “can’t we just text someone to pick him up for us?” It’s a DoorDash kidnapping plot!

I thought these CIA people were supposed to be ultra competent mega spies, like in all those movies I watched. Getting outwitted by the Chinese is understandable. But getting rolled over and over by Venezuela? It’s like the US national women’s team losing to 13-year-old boys. Anyway, all these gay ops keep on failing, so Trump has escalated the military pressure instead, parking a US aircraft carrier off the coast and flying bombers around to make it look like he might attack at any minute.

Will he actually start a war with Venezuela? Maybe. I’m guessing probably not. Trump likes to fight people who can’t shoot back at all. Trump went in to fight the Houthis for the Jews, then surrendered weeks later. At the time, we wondered if there was a sort of deeper breach growing between Trump and Netanyahu. Nah. Trump just got spooked because the Houthis were shooting missiles at US ships, and decided to pull out before one of them got hit.

Trump likes to proclaim himself to be the great peacemaker. What he actually does is go around the world starting pointless fights with other countries, then asks to be congratulated when he backs out of the fights that he started.

Venezuela might just be the latest stop on Trump’s endless tour of driving up to the edge of a cliff and then slamming the brakes. Or maybe this time Trump will think he’s finally found an opponent weak enough to be beaten. Militarily, Venezuela is much weaker than Iran or North Korea. If it came to outright war, the US could destroy their navy and air force in a few days, and start bombing wherever it wanted.

But who would actually be the boots on the ground and conquer Venezuela? This fleet Trump is assembling off the coast has enough firepower to do a bombing campaign, but it doesn’t have anywhere close to the number of Marines that would be needed to conquer the country. Colombia was run by pro-US regimes for decades before their last election. Brazil was a close ally under Bolsonaro and his predecessor. If this had happened back then, they might have sent in the troops while the US bombed everything for them. But neither of these neighboring countries is on-board with a US invasion today. Lula is back in Brazil, and Colombia is led by Gustavo Petro, a righteous socialist who hates the baby-killing Jews.

So the US has no neighboring countries to use as bases (Guyana barely counts as a country), and these Venezuelan exiles the CIA has been training are a total joke, who just surrender as soon as any shots are fired. There is no rebel army in Venezuela waiting to rise up and take over. There’s a lot of people who are mad that the US sanctions have destroyed their economy, but none of those people (or very few of them) want the US to come in and start blowing everything up. As with pro-US Cubans, most pro-US Venezuelans live in Miami. If the objective is stealing the oil, the US needs to occupy and control the country, or establish some sort of puppet government. They would need to establish secure zones for the US oil companies to bring in their people without getting shot at or car bombed.

Probably, the US is hoping they can get Venezuela’s army to do a coup against Maduro through a combination of threats and bribery, similarly to how they took down Assad. Maybe that will end up working. It’s been done countless times before in South America. Amidst this kerfuffle, there have been many stories in Western media about Maduro offering deals where he’ll step down.

AP:

Venezuelan government officials have floated a plan in which President Nicolás Maduro would eventually leave office, a bid aimed at easing mounting U.S. pressure on the government in Caracas, according to a former Trump administration official.

The proposal, which was rejected by the White House, calls for Maduro to step down from power in three years and hand over authority to his vice president, Delcy Rodriguez, who would complete Maduro’s current six-year term that runs until January 2031, according to the official who was briefed on the plan but was not authorized to comment publicly on the matter and spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Rodriguez would not run for reelection under the plan, the official said, adding that the White House had rejected the proposal because it continues to question the legitimacy of Maduro’s rule and accuse him of overseeing a narco-terrorist state.

The revelation of Maduro’s attempts to offer a plan to slowly ease himself out of power comes amid growing unease in the Venezuelan leader’s government that President Donald Trump could order military action to try to oust him.

Speaking at a televised event Thursday, Maduro ridiculed reports that Rodríguez would be part of a plan to replace him as an attempt “to divide our people.”

He also mocked Trump’s confirmation Wednesday that the U.S. president had authorized the CIA to operate in Venezuela.

“Can anyone believe the CIA hasn’t been operating in Venezuela for the past 60 years?” Maduro said.

Rodríguez described the alleged plan for Maduro to step down as fake news Thursday.

“FAKE!!” Rodríguez wrote in English on her Telegram account. “More media that add to the garbage dump of the psychological war against the Venezuelan people.”

She added that Venezuela’s leadership is united.

These are fake stories, of course. It’s a textbook psychological warfare tactic. You tell the Venezuelans your leader is already trying to sell you out, so why should you fight for him? Why don’t you stab him in the back first?

And of course, we have the usual shenanigans going on.

AFP:

Venezuela claimed Monday to have dismantled a CIA-financed cell plotting a false-flag attack on a US warship deployed to the southern Caribbean, as Washington stepped up pressure on Caracas by flying bombers nearby.

Venezuelan authorities said they uncovered an operation targeting the USS Gravely, a guided-missile destroyer that docked Sunday in Trinidad and Tobago — within firing distance of the Venezuelan mainland.

The ship’s arrival sparked outrage in Caracas, which called it a “provocation” and claimed it was “aimed at provoking a war in the Caribbean.”

It also deepened tensions with Trinidad and Tobago, whose Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar is a strong critic of Venezuela’s Nicolas Maduro, and a supporter of US President Donald Trump’s military campaign against drug traffickers in the Caribbean.

Maduro on Monday evening announced he had suspended a gas agreement with Trinidad and Tobago, accusing Persad-Bissessar of transforming her nation “into an aircraft carrier of the American empire against Venezuela.”

As part of Trump’s campaign, the Pentagon has so far deployed seven warships to the Caribbean and one to the Gulf of Mexico.

The United States has also announced the imminent arrival of the USS Gerald R. Ford, the world’s largest aircraft carrier, and its accompanying fleet.

Venezuela and some observers believe Trump’s administration is using the military deployments to build pressure on the government and depose Maduro, whom Washington does not recognize as the legitimate president.

Venezuelan Interior Minister Diosdado Cabello said Monday that a cell “financed by the CIA” planned to attack the USS Gravely and frame Caracas.

Four people were arrested, Cabello said, without providing details of the alleged suspects. Venezuela regularly claims to have arrested US-backed mercenaries working to destabilize Maduro’s administration.

Alongside his naval buildup, Trump recently confirmed authorizing CIA operations in Venezuela and considering ground strikes.

If the bluff fails though, and Venezuela’s army stands by Maduro, I don’t think Trump is going to be able to follow through on his threats. Maybe he’ll bomb some random huts in the jungle and say those were Maduro’s secret drug labs, and now the crisis is over. That seems like his style. Or maybe they’ll try to seize some of the offshore drilling platforms? It seems like he’s going to have to do something, having pushed things this far.

Maduro, of course, has never threatened the US at all, and would be happy to just sit down and talk things out with Trump. In fact, that would probably work if it happened. But Trump is a fool who has surrounded himself with evil councilors, who will always endeavor to prevent anything good from happening.

By the way, that Jordan Goudreau guy who led the failed coup and blew the whistle on the cartel hoax is going to jail now.

CBS News:

A federal judge in Tampa has ordered the arrest of a former Green Beret accused of plotting to invade Venezuela in 2020 after he failed to show up to court for a hearing on whether he should be taken back into custody for violating the conditions of his pre-trial release.

Jordan Goudreau, 49, was arrested last year on weapons smuggling charges tied to the failed coup attempt undertaken during the first Trump administration.

He was released after a few weeks in jail when filmmaker Jen Gatien pledged her $2 million Manhattan apartment where the combat veteran was living as collateral for a bond. In testimony this week, Gatien detailed how the three-time Bronze Star recipient turned abusive, alleging he threatened to harm her and others and sent text messages saying he wouldn’t go back to jail.

“I believe he intends one day to leave this country,” Gatien said, noting that Goudreau previously lived on a sailboat in Mexico.

Judge Christopher Tuite issued an arrest warrant Friday after waiting 30 minutes for Goudreau to show up for the third day of the bond hearing. A probation officer said the ankle monitor Goudreau was supposed to wear was still located in the Tampa area, where Goudreau was living while undergoing equine-assisted therapy supervised by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.

Equine-assisted therapy?

You would think this whole thing couldn’t get any dumber, but you should sit down and listen, because a woman is talking.


Who knew that Hamas had tunnels extending all the way across the Atlantic Ocean? No wonder Israel can’t defeat them.

I am also aware of certain notable figures out there, particularly those popular among the mugu community, who argue that attacking Venezuela would actually be “based.” They seem to believe that they will somehow benefit personally from this war, in ways that are completely unexplained.

To them, I can only say that you are so stupid that it hurts my soul, and in fact it so enrages me that I am about to hurl my own furniture out the window while bellowing like an ape.