Apple Confirmed for Paying People to Shill for Their Gimmick Phone Flop

Andrew Anglin
Daily Stormer
September 13, 2017

I don’t actually have confirmation that Apple is paying journalists to shill for their “iPhone X.” But I can basically go ahead and assume it with virtually 100% certainty.

Why else would people be promoting this stupid gimmick product?

What is this phone?

Well, it has all the same functionality as the iPhone 6, 6s, 7 and newly released 8. The difference between it and those phones is:

  • It is $1000
  • It doesn’t have a home button
  • It has a facial recognition scanner (in place of a thumb scanner, not in addition to)

Everything else is effectively exactly the same.

They can blabbity blah blah about these things:

  • Processor speed
  • Screen resolution
  • Camera quality
  • Speakers

But none of that is actually noticeably different in real life.

On the iPhone 6:

  • The phone is already fast enough
  • The screen is very nice
  • The camera produces quality pictures that you can easily upload to Facebook or Instagram and have look great (professional photographers are already using actual cameras, not phones)
  • Speakers going to sound like crap if you try to play loud music in a room of people out of them, but otherwise fine for sitting alone watching YouTube clips

Where is the functionality increase here?

There isn’t any.

That is why the X was released at all – they could just as easily have put the new features on the 7s and done a normal release. But the features aren’t good enough on their own, so they are attempting to create hype with manufactured scarcity on a “special edition” model.

They want to bring back lines outside of stores in the media, to cover-up the fact that their company has run out of steam in the innovation department.

Because they cannot accept that the smartphone has peaked, because they don’t have any new ideas.

Steve Jobs Would Have

Steve Jobs would have popped out with a robot or a laser gun or at least an entire line of home furnishings or a car yesterday.

And there were other people who could have done that. People who could have replaced him when he died.

The problem is, those people were all heterosexual white males. And when you have a company with a moral imperative like Apple, you just can’t go around hiring heterosexual white males.

So they’ve got the GRIDS Cook to just let the company slowly burn out.

Of course, they will still produce quality products. But they will no longer be an engine of innovation.

It’s a sad thing to see happen to one of the last remaining American companies.

But I guess that’s the way it goes.

Hopefully the iWatch will at least be able to keep track of t-cell counts.