Bag-Fuckers BTFO: Lawsuit Alleges “Condom” Fuck-Bags Contain Penis-Shrinking Chemicals

“You will fuck the bag, imp.”

Imagine using a condom.

For years, my slogan was “FUCK HOOKERS WITHOUT CONDOMS – ANTIBIOTICS ARE CHEAP AND VIRUSES ARE FAKE.”

That’s not my slogan anymore. I don’t really have a slogan these days. I was using “YO, JOE!” but then I found out that was the slogan of G.I. Joe, an American military propaganda toy.

If someone put a gun to my head and said: “TELL ME YOUR SLOGAN OR I’LL PAINT THE WALL WITH YOUR BRAINS, FAGGOT!” I would probably say: “Machines are gonna fail and the system’s gonna fail… then, survival. Who has the ability to survive? That’s the game – survive.”

But in general, as a middle-aged man, I think I’m post-slogan.

Still, bag-fuckers get what they deserve.

Reuters:

A new lawsuit on Monday claims that Trojan condoms are not safe because they contain toxic “forever chemicals,” which have been linked to cancer.

In a proposed class action filed in Manhattan federal court, the plaintiff Matthew Goodman said Church & Dwight’s products, advertised as “America’s #1 Condom,” are unfit for their intended purpose because they contain per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances, or PFAS.

Goodman said independent lab testing of the Trojan Ultra Thin condoms that he bought at a Manhattan pharmacy found a presence of organic fluorine, which is “practically nonexistent” outside its use in man-made PFAS chemicals.

“Based on the label, he reasonably believed the product was safe for use on his genitalia,” the complaint said, referring to Goodman.

“Had defendant disclosed on the label that the products contained PFAS chemicals, and the harms that can result from contact with PFAS chemicals, he would not have purchased the products, or at the very least, would have only been willing to pay significantly less,” it added.

In July, the consumer advocacy blog Mamavation said tests, opens new tab of 29 popular condoms and lubricants found several with a possible presence of PFAS, including Trojan Ultra Thin condoms.

The penis is especially susceptible to absorbing these chemicals into your body.

These PFAS shrink your penis.

Probably, anyone using a condom probably already has a tiny penis.

There is no reason to use a condom. Frankly, fornication is gay. Going around having sex with sluts without the intention of having children is literally mimicking homosexual behavior. If you’re going to have sex with sluts, you might as well get them pregnant. You can then just disappear like a ghost in the night while listening to Bob Seger.

This is what I listen to while abandoning a woman and leaving her and my bastard child to fend for themselves:

No, no.

I joke.

That’s unethical.

I’m not really joking, but it is unethical.

But there’s not much ethical these days. I mean, I also poison homeless people. I’m sure that’s not great.

But what are you gonna do?

You gotta do what you’re gonna do and every day you do it is the current day that you are doing what you always do. What can be, unburdened by what has been.