Florida: Town in Crisis After Two Separate Attacks on Anal Crosswalk

Don’t tread on my anus.

(Sorry, that’s the best I’ve got right now, guys.)

The Post Millennial:

Police are investigating after drivers left tire marks on a Pride crosswalk in St. Petersburg, Florida in two instances over the last two weeks. The first a car accelerated through the intersection and the second time a driver did donuts on the pride mural.

The St. Petersburg Police Department released a statement about the recent incidents and wrote in a Facebook post, “Over the last week, two different vehicles have left tire marks damaging the Progressive Pride street mural at the 2500 Central Avenue roundabout.”

“The first occurred on May 17th at 9:36 am when a truck accelerated through the mural. The second incident happened on May 22nd at 2:41 am involving a blue two-door vehicle doing doughnuts on the mural. Investigators have no reason to believe the incidents are related,” the statement added. “It’s going to cost the City of St. Petersburg $1100 to restore. The City aims to have the mural repainted in time for Pride month festivities.”

If you’re going to force this anal stuff on people, some people are going to be mad.

But of course, it has to be zero tolerance. You have to crack down on anyone who questions anal, or you’ll end up with an anti-anal uprising.

Based black guy is the voice of reason, as usual