“Pope Francis” Sets Sail for Adventure on Global Warming Tour

Previously: Pope Francis Declares Rejecting Migrants a “Grave Sin”

They should call this guy “The Rainbow Pope.”

Or maybe just remove the “Pope” thing, and call him “Doctor Rainbow.”

Doctor Rainbow is on a mission of love.

He wants homosexuals and Islamic jihadists to live together in the ashes of Christian civilization, and he wants those ashes frozen solid.

The Guardian:

Pope Francis is to embark on the longest, farthest and perhaps most challenging trip of his pontificate as he begins a 12-day Asia-Pacific tour that is expected to highlight environmental threats, emphasise interfaith dialogue and reinforce the importance of Asia for the Catholic church.

The 87-year-old will set off on Monday on a tour taking in Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, East Timor and Singapore, a trip that will clock up more than 20,000 miles by air.

Originally planned for 2020 but postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic, the visit is being seen as a nod to the importance of Asia, one of the few places where the church is growing in terms of baptised faithful and religious vocations.

Francis is scheduled to headline more than 40 events during the ambitious tour. “It is a show of strength for Pope Francis,” Massimo Faggioli, an Italian academic, told Reuters.

In Papua New Guinea, Francis will meet missionaries from his native Argentina. It is believed he will use the stop to address the threat of climate change, citing challenges such as rising sea levels and increasingly severe heatwaves and typhoons.

Lock up your sons, because Doctor Rainbow is coming to a town near you on a mystery tour to change the weather once and for all.

Yo’ve heard of “Food Not Bombs” and “Hope Not Hate,” now meet “Windmills Not Vaginal Sex,” a special encore performance by Doctor Rainbow.

Because it’s a grave sin to not do infinity immigration, so sayeth the New Gospel of Rainbow.

If it’s a grave sin to not flood yourself with hostile brown people, then how much graver is the sin of not building windmills everywhere in order to block out all of nature?

You might think you know what you want, boy, but Doctor Windmill has a Rainbow Blessing for your gay Islamic wedding on ice.

Editor’s Note:

For those wondering what Doctor Rainbow’s theme song is, it’s probably ABBA.

However, if I ever get to make a movie about him, I’m using this song in the trailer: