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The Fight Nation
March 8, 2015
There is no place in the world for abusers. Whether you’re a man or a woman who physically or psychologically abuses people, society doesn’t accept you and, quite frankly, doesn’t want you at all. So one can imagine the disgust that we here at TFN felt when we heard of a story that was close to home, home being our Asian martial arts community.
Earlier today, the story of Alannah Mudge hit social media. Alannah very bravely told the story of how she was allegedly abused by her boyfriend Ncedo Gomba who happened to be a promising Muay Thai fighter representing AKA Thailand. Alannah went into great detail of her horrific experiences on her Facebook page (Warning: Graphic images below).
“It has taken a lot of courage to post this photo and story to facebook,I honestly feel embarrassed and humiliated, like my dignity and self-worth has been ripped out from under me. Today i woke up and decided i will not stand in the shadows anymore and let people get away with this type of violent destructive behaviour.
I don’t need sympathy or negative feed back. This is the truth about what people go through when in a relationship filled with “domestic violence”
So here it goes;
I first left for Phuket in February last year, i went there to train at great gyms to loose weight, it was my biggest goal. During this time i had run into a guy by the name of Ncedo Gomba. He would constantly stare at me and watch what i was doing, time went on and i decided to give him a go. He really did seem like an awesome guy. He made me feel so special at first, i felt like we both bought different but positive things to each others lives. Everything felt right, I loved him a lot. It was only a matter of time before he first put his hands on me, as i was informed of his sly actions when it came to bringing home “Bar girls” for sex while i was in Australia for 2 weeks. When i approached him about this, thats when he clenched his fists and punched me in the nose so hard i started bleeding all over the floor, he whacked me in the mouth and gave me continues punches to my body, at that moment, i was so scared, i had never seen someone turn on a young woman like that.
After this incident Ncedo manage to convince me that it was all an “accident” and he was “so sorry” he looked me in the eyes and said, i promise i will never hit you or cheat on you again, please forgive me Alannah. (I believed him) so I forgave him.
Time goes on, we moved houses, started over and started fresh but it was only a matter of time before the beatings started again. These next few times, he didn’t hold back… Ncedo went all out on me. For up to an hour on one occasion he continued to bash me around the apartment, Ncedo gave me black eyes, made my face so swollen to the point i didn’t look like the same person, he would slap and punch my head around with such force i would feel off balance, sometimes it would take me a few seconds to pull myself together to understand what was happening. He would pin me down and choke me to the point i felt paralysed. This one time i escaped from the room, even with a recovering broken foot i just ran, i didn’t look back. There was nothing more that i wanted then to be away from him. Some people in a near by hotel took me to their room and cleaned up my bloody face, within 5 minutes Ncedo walked in the door and pulled me by the arm with aggression and said “Alannah lets go”, i told him no, i don’t want to go with him. I stood in that room feeling very uncomfortable, to the point i said i was sorry for running to get help.
“This is not normal”
Ncedo dragged me back to his apartment and made me go to bed. Within the next 3 weeks Ncedo really stepped it up with the beatings, only this next time, he could have killed us both. Ncedo punched me in the mouth so hard, i felt like i was in the second round of a Muay Thai fight, my teeth went through my lip, at that point driving home on the scooter i made a decision to go a seek help from Adults who knew Ncedo very well. Ncedo clued on to what i was doing and made it very obvious he did not want me to get there, he pulled my head back by my hair while driving the scooter, causing the scooter to lose control and crash. This was just more injuries i had incurred from Ncedo.
The few friends and family i have told about this asked me, “why did he do that” but i have no words to protect him anymore, i’m not scared for my safety and no longer ashamed to speak out and tell people the truth about what happened.
It got so bad, i found myself turning to friends in phuket, i didn’t no how to explain to others what had happened, i was so fooled and scared, I didn’t realise how much i was protecting him, i wouldn’t go out in public just so i could avoid being asked what had happened to my face, neck, lip, arms, legs, you name it and Ncedo had left his mark on it.
These current photos are in the small bunch that i managed to save as Ncedo was on his game and deleted the rest from my phone and ipad.
This is a long story to write, i can’t possibly fit all the details into a facebook post; All i can say is that it has been a blessing to finally escape such an abnormal and dysfunctional relationship.
Thank you to my close family and friends who stood by me though out all of this.
I have learnt that you don’t have to stand by yourself when something like this happens. I finally feel free and safe and i no longer feel isolated and alone. NEVER EVER let someone put their hands on you. Don’t ever be scared to speak out. I only put this post up so other people don’t have to live with the shame of domestic violence. In many cases the perpetrator needs to be exposed and stopped.
If this post had been reported and deleted, one can only assume it has be done by someone who knows Ncedo or one of his family members.
TAKE A STAND AND SAY NO TO VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMAN.”
A source close to AKA Thailand’s head honcho Mike Swick, has informed us that Ncedo Gomba has been kicked out of the gym and is no longer welcome there. We commend AKA Thailand for their fast response and their support against domestic abuse. And to Alannah Mudge, we commend you for being so brave and standing up to your abuser. You’re an inspiration to many.
