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Pomidor Quixote
Daily Stormer
April 2, 2019
Looks tasty, huh?
Hey guise I eat banana peels because I’m vegan and I crave meat but I can’t eat meat because I’m vegan and vegans don’t eat meat, and I’m vegan because I chose to become vegan so I’m now following a vegan diet even though I’m having this unbearable meat cravings that drive me towards eating banana peels that are kinda chewy like meat to trick my brain into staying away from meat another day so I don’t lose my vegan superpowers just yet.
Did I mention I’m vegan?
I’m vegan.
If you are vegan (or just cutting back on meat), you might be looking for some alternative ways to make the dishes you love plant based.
You’ve probably heard of jackfruit by now – a fleshy fruit used to replicate pulled pork.
Well it seems like there is a new alternative that might be easier (and cheaper) to get hold of – banana peel.
We promise this isn’t another April Fools’ Day joke. It turns out it’s got so many more uses than the classic ‘slipping on a banana skin’ gag in a comedy sketch.
The peel you usually throw away is completely edible but it does take a little bit of work to make it tasty.
Melissa Copeland, also known as The Stingy Vegan, posted the recipe for banana peel pulled pork sandwich online last week.
It turns out there are loads of other ways to serve banana peel too – from fishless fishcakes to meatballs, burgers and even bacon.
Look. Cravings are a thing, but people don’t crave textures. That’s just not what cravings do. People crave nutrients, their gut flora craves sugary foods or their brain became dependent on addictive foods, and maybe all of that at the same time.
If vegans are craving meat, that’s a sign their diet is deficient.
Instead of trying to (they can’t, really) fix the craving through vegan nutrition workarounds, they’re trying to trick their brains into thinking they’re getting quality nutrition by making stuff look like meat. It obviously doesn’t taste like meat. It doesn’t even look like meat.
Vegans could eat meat from time to time when they get the cravings, and give their bodies the nutrients it demands, but they’re under the impression that having a bit of meat would act as kryptonite and remove their vegan superpowers. What these vegan superpowers are is not something that’s clear, but vegans do seem to think they have those.
Why else would they be so terrified of having a little bit of meat once a week or so? Is that little bite of meat going to take away all the time they followed a vegan diet and retroactively feed them meat and somehow time-travel to kill the animals that they didn’t eat?
So, cravings:
- If you crave shit “food” you know is devoid of any nutrition and your diet is on point, stick with it a little longer without cheating so your gut flora fixes itself.
- If you crave shit “food” you know is devoid of any nutrition and your diet is shit, fix your diet.
- If you crave real food you know is nutritious, eat it in its natural form.
- If you crave real food you know is nutritious but can’t eat it because of some self-imposed dietary rule, fix your mind and remove artificial and self-imposed limits.
Listen to your body.
Most importantly: don’t get trapped in self-imposed limitations.
