33-Year-Old Barcelona Star Sergio Aguero Cries While Confirming Retirement Due to Heart Problem

Cry harder, faggot.

You’re going to be crying even harder when you’re dead before 40 and then Saint Peter is like “it says here you took the 666 Satan juice. Care to elaborate on your decision process there? Please note that ‘I thought the billionaire pedophiles loved me and were trying to save me from a secret virus I had no evidence existed’ has already been ruled by the Big Guy as not a valid excuse.”