Cocaine Bananas Arrive in Grocery Stores in Canada

Del Monte stock briefly shot up 400% after baby boomers with stock trading apps misread the headlines on Facebook and thought “cocaine bananas” were a new product being offered by Del Monte and started clicking the “buy” button on the app*.

Cowichan Valley Citizen:

The RCMP has concluded an almost two-year-long international drug investigation after finding nearly two dozen bricks of cocaine in bananas shipped to Central Okanagan grocers in February 2019.

On Feb. 24, 2019, a grocery store in Kelowna reported it had found 12 bricks of what was believed to be illicit drugs in a shipment of bananas. That same day, a West Kelowna grocer reported nine more similar packages in its banana shipment. The packages, weighing around one kilogram each, were seized by the RCMP for continued investigation.

The packages were later confirmed to contain cocaine. Working with the Canada Border Service Agency, investigators determined the shipments originated in Colombia.

However, Cpl. Jeff Carroll of the Kelowna RCMP’s drug section doesn’t believe the shipments were meant to end up in the Okanagan, arriving only as a result of a “missed pick up at some point along the way.”

It’s like winning the banana lottery!

Next time you could peel a banana, and it could be filled with Israeli blood diamonds from South Africa!

Democracy, folks – what will they think of next?

*That obviously didn’t actually happen but the joke is based on the same basic thing happening last week.