Ebonics Translations: NLE Choppa’s Too Hot

It’s Saturday and you know what that means: it’s time to get wasted drunk and wake up in an alley somewhere in a different city with no wallet, gun, cellphone, or memory of how you got there.

Just joking. Take the day to relax and spend time with your family. If you do drink, do so moderately. Keep track of your firearms.

In fact, Saturdays are the time when we here at John Carpenter’s Daily Stormer (formerly Hoax Watch Brought to You by John Carpenter) take time out of our busy schedules to try to understand black American culture by looking at black American culture.

There is a big disconnect between the way the media and government portray blacks as victims of white people, and the way that blacks actually view themselves and make decisions based on those identities. Basically, all black people listen to gangster rap. Certainly, an overwhelming majority – probably more than 99% – of young black males listen to this music, and gain their identity from it. (This is comparable to the way most whites listen to faggot love song music and become lifelong pussy worshipers.)

In mid-week, I did a bonus translation of some 1990s and early 2000s songs. People didn’t really like them as much, because they are not as ridiculous, but I thought it was important to point out that this kind of celebration of violence and drug dealing has been a mainstay in black culture for as long as most of us have been alive.

Today, we will be examining NLE Choppa’s Too Hot, which was released last week and currently has over 2 million views on YouTube.

As always, if you really want to understand the vibe, which is the definitive cultural vibe of black America, you’ve gotta watch the video. You can watch it with the sound off if you can’t stand the noise.

Here is the full English translation of the original ebonics.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m becoming too deeply involved in criminal activity
I carry two Glocks, one on each side of my groin
The first person who irritates me will get shot
You can send your toughest gang member against me, and I will murder him
I only shoot people in the head
This makes it easier for the doctors doing the autopsy
Is this person trying to irritate me or not?
He’d better try to hide in a crowd, I’m firing so many bullets, he can’t avoid getting hit

There are prostitutes in my home, I have a Glock in my pocket
There is a kilo of cocaine on my dresser, we are synthesizing it into crack cocaine
I’m very relaxed, because I always have a lot of drugs to sell
Drug addicts were living in my house, so I evicted them
I turned my crack house into a brothel
Bring your prostitutes over to my house and tell them to jiggle their buttocks
I like women who have pierced nipples
She will say she just got these nipples pierced, and I will ask to feel them
I have two cases pending in court, but I still continue to commit murder
I’m doing very well, but I have always been a murderer, and will continue to commit murder

I had a psych evaluation
I brought an insane murderer with me, you should not irritate him
I will put a Glock in your face like I’m taking your temperature
I don’t have time to deal with unsuccessful people
I remove unsuccessful people from my circles
God knows that I am very sinful
I have so much money, there is too much to be stored in the bank
I use very descriptive language
I could write you a check, but I will keep my money instead
You won’t get money from me until you murder someone
If you can’t find the guy I want murdered, then murder one of his friends
Do a drive by shooting on him

People want to come over to my house
I used to be very poor, but became very rich
How do you feel about the fact that I murdered your friend?
I am wealthy, and instead of doing a drive-by shooting, I will get out of the car and shoot a man while wearing luxury Italian flip flops
I have a talented member of my gang who is good at shooting people
I joke around with him to make sure he doesn’t take himself too seriously
I am a powerful person, I am a drug dealer, I will confront you
Why would you say you will assist my drive-by shooting when you are not in the car with me?
I’m not high on codeine cough syrup right now, but I’m thinking of drinking some
I met a woman earlier today, later tonight we will have sexual intercourse
She wants me to buy her a Hermes handbag and other luxury items, she is very bold
One of the diamonds in my watch is worth more than your car

I’m a professional businessman and I wear very nice clothing
It sounded like I defecated in my pants when I spun out in my Lamborghini
I am able to behave normally around white people
I have a bag with $200,000 in cash in it, seriously
I am a very serious criminal
I actually feel like my rap career is on the same trajectory as Lil’ Wayne’s
I have a lot of money, it’s not a problem for me
I forced them to close down a luxury mall in Miami so I could shop alone with my daughter
Poor people have to start GoFundMe’s
I have diamond watches and luxury sunglasses
I say whatever is on my mind
I have twin prostitutes in my room

Okay, so.

Again, I can’t overstate: this is the norm of black culture.

This is not a subculture. It is the mainstream of black culture.

This, presumably, is why they have so many problems. These problems are not related to white people. They may, however, be related to the Jewish record producers who produce this music.

Black music used to be a bit more wholesome, I think it’s fair to say.

Something happened.