Food Delivery Company Releases Children’s PSA on How to Take a Dick in Your Ass Without Blowing Shit Everywhere

This is a real company.

No, that headline is not satirical.

Here’s the cute little children’s educational video from food delivery company Postmates explaining what kinds of foods you should eat so you don’t get shit everywhere when a man rams his penis into your asshole:

The PSA is done in a child’s manner, with little cartoon foods, one of which is some kind of vegetable in BDSM leather.

The video says that it’s not fair that “tops” (the ones ramming their dicks into the anus) can eat whatever they want while “bottoms” (those ones having dicks and other objects rammed into their anuses) are expected to not eat anything. They don’t say it outright, but what they are talking about is that the asshole is where poop comes out, and when you gape open someone’s anus with a penis, fist, or other object, you risk blowing shit everywhere.

This is what we are as a society demanding children celebrate. Just to be clear.

The video gives advice on foods that “bottoms” can eat to prevent poop from getting blown out of their gaping anuses. I’m a health and digestion expert, so I understood what they were talking about – they were recommending types of foods that digest quickly, and can then be cleaned out with an enema before men start shoving things into the anus.

This is mainstream Western culture now. Just to be clear.

The video explains that they consulted a Jewish anus surgeon named Dr. Goldstein. That’s not a joke. Here’s an article that the gay website MIC did interviewing the Jewish anus surgeon. The article goes into details.

This is normal now.

This is the first time I’ve seen a corporation make a children’s video about the mechanics of dealing with poop splattering everywhere during anal sex, but it’s being celebrated.

We are probably going to see more of this.

Frankly, I think it’s a good thing. I have continually complained about the fact that these people waving these rainbows and talking about how much they love gays do not want to think about what “gay” actually means. It means that a man shoves his penis, fist, and other objects into another man’s anus.

Homosexuals are so obsessed with this act that they’ve struggled in holding back on discussion of the details of it for optics reasons. They are proud (there’s that word) of engaging in these acts and they want to tell people about it, especially children. I think it’s safe to assume we are going to see a lot more of this children’s content explaining the mechanics of anal sex.