Ginormous Bitch Griner Describes Russian Penal Colony as “Too Grindy” and “Not Fun”

Nah, she didn’t really say anything. She’s locked up in a train on the way to the gulag.

So great.

Russia is awesome.

New York Post:

Brittney Griner will endure merciless conditions inside a Russian penal colony — where rancid food, extreme isolation and tyrannical wardens await the WNBA star, former Russian prison inmates, their relatives and penitentiary experts told The Post.

Former US Marine Trevor Rowdy Reed, who spent nearly 1,000 days detained in Russia, was freed in April in exchange for Konstantin Yaroshenko, a Russian pilot serving a 20-year prison sentence for conspiring to smuggle more than $100 million of cocaine into New York.

Reed was accused of assaulting two Moscow police officers in August 2019 and spent 11 months in a pretrial detention center in Moscow until a Russian court meted out a nine-year sentence in 2020. He was later shipped 350 miles away to a penal colony in the remote Russian republic of Mordovia, where he survived nine agonizing months until he was swapped this year.

“You gotta understand, the labor camps in Mordovia, these are pre-Stalin-era prisons, these were literally referred to as gulags,” Trevor’s father, Joey Reed, told The Post. “And even though there’s a federal authority for prisons, each warden has wide leeway to do whatever they want until it makes someone angry or leads to bad press.”

Reed, 62, said his son often described a dour, medieval atmosphere inside the penal colony where Trevor, now 31, lived in crude barracks built of brick and sheet metal. He routinely curled up near hot water pipes or piled on extra clothes during frigid nights in the desolate Mordovian plains, where January temps average in the low teens. When guards threatened to forcibly disrobe his son, Trevor threatened them back, his father said.

“They said they would take them off him and he said, ‘I will take you out trying,’” said Reed, of Granbury, Texas. “But the guards never beat or abused him because they knew he was on the trading block.”

“To a certain extent, you’re starved just by the food that they give you. We didn’t show any public photos of my son for about a month and a half because he looked like a concentration camp victim.”

“Starved by food” sounds like a They Might be Giants song.

The article goes on and on with rumors and theories about the suffering Griner is going to suffer.

For the record, these camps look completely fine.

I wish Griner was going to suffer under some ridiculous Stalinesque hell situation, but she won’t. The worst part for her will be not speaking the language. I’m sure the women there are nice enough, and doing ten hours a day on a sewing machine isn’t exactly Schindler’s List.

Russian people are generally nice, actually. I’ve never seen anything sadistic in Russia. They speak more aggressively, like Italians or Greeks. But no one has ever complained about Russian hospitality.

That Griner bitch must be regretting the invention of the WNBA – as we all are. What a totally ridiculous concept.

I do love these gigantic bitches though.

Remember when that one was talking about “little white boys”?

There was a serious “grind your bones to make my bread” vibe going on there.

I find it strangely arousing.

You know the thing.

(They actually made the WNBA joke in that episode.)