Good News: Drinking Alcohol Every Day Only Takes 2.5 Months Off Your Life

Would you rather live 90 years without drinking alcohol or 88 years having a blast? How can these people pretend two years is somehow a high price to pay for improving your overall quality of life so much?

New York Post:

This is such a buzz kill.

As it turns out, consuming just one alcoholic beverage per day — whether it be a pint of beer, a glass of wine or a shot of your favorite spirit — can shorten your lifespan by approximately two-and-a-half months, one expert asserts.

Dr. Tim Stockwell, of the Canadian Institute for Substance Use Research, told Daily Mail that those who drink significantly more alcohol than that — about 35 beverages a week — could slash a staggering two years off their lifespan.

It’s a rude awakening for those who might like to unwind with a glass of pinot after a long day, or who frequent happy hours with friends or colleagues.

“Alcohol is our favorite recreational drug. We use it for pleasure and relaxation, and the last thing we want to hear is that it causes any harm,” he said. “It’s comforting to think that drinking is good for our health, but unfortunately, it’s based on poor science.”

Unfortunately, according to the doc, no amount of alcohol is safe for boozers — and his claims are backed up by science.

Hey, listen: I don’t even believe this.

But if you want to live to be 90 years old, you are sick.

As America’s Poet Laureate said:

Fuck that! Take drugs, rape sluts
Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up
Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor

Just live your life.

The wisest man who ever lived, King Solomon, said the best thing that you can do is eat, drink, and be merry.

He didn’t say “the best thing you can do is act like a neurotic faggot.”