Make Sure There’s No Round in the Chamber When You Stick Your Call of Duty Pride Gun Up Your Ass

Call of Duty Modern Warfare III has released a set of anal pride guns.

All Americans and particularly gamers are celebrating this as the first time the famous video game has released anal guns. However, we need to remind gamers to make sure there is not a round in the chamber before they stick their prideful rifle up their asshole, as while they’re having a bit of fun with their gun, they don’t want to end up shooting themselves up their ass.

Experts say that if you shoot a round of FMJ straight up your asshole, it could come out the top of your head, and could result in serious injury or even death.

“We want gamers to be able to shove these guns way up their asses, but we want them to do so safely,” said the head of Ubisoft, Yves Guillemot, in an official statement to gamers.

Ubisoft later released a statement apologizing for his previous statement, saying “actually, Ubisoft does not make Call of Duty. I just thought we did because we make a lot of really gay games.” He added, however, that in the name of Pride Month, Ubisoft will be releasing “Rainbow Sex,” a “Rainbow Six game with a femboy foot fetish twist.”

Unfortunately, two Call of Duty players have already shot up their assholes with their pride guns.

Asked why they chose to include the pansexual flag in the game, a flag that symbolizes having sex with animals, Activision-Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick, who is Jewish, said “Call of Duty is all-inclusive.” He then said he had to end the call so he could go have sex with his dog.

Pansexual Activision-Blizzard CEO Bobby Kotick ended our interview abruptly due to an urgent need to have sex with his dog.