Maryland: Court Refuses to Let Religious Elementary School Children Opt-Out of Anal Lessons

Many parents are really shy about teaching their sons about how to get fucked up the ass.

I talked to a dad the other day, and he said: “I know my son needs to learn how to get fucked up the ass, but I don’t know how to approach the topic. Do I just bend him over and start shoving various objects up his ass?”

The man was even more concerned about how to teach his son to do rimming: “I don’t know if it would be appropriate to have him lick my asshole. I asked the neighbor if he would come over and let my 9-year-old lick his ass, and the neighbor was willing, but asked me to film it so he could put it on his OnlyFans. I know he needs to learn, but I just feel pretty awkward filming my son licking my neighbor’s asshole.”

But most concerning for the shy father was fisting: “My son is only in the 4th grade. I’m not sure my fist will fit into his ass. I read on I should use a lot of lube, but they also said that by 4th grade, a boy should be ready for double-fisting.”

This is why we need to simply let the schools do their job, and teach boys how to get fucked and fisted*.


A divided federal appeals court on Wednesday rejected a bid by a group of Maryland parents to force a school district to allow them to opt their elementary school children out of being assigned to read books that include LGBTQ characters.

A 2-1 panel of the Richmond, Virginia-based 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals held, opens new tab that the parents had not demonstrated how the Montgomery County Board of Education’s book policy would burden anyone’s rights to freely exercise religion.

The parents’ lawyers at the Becket Fund for Religious Liberty had objected to a curriculum for pre-K and elementary school-aged children that included books that portray gay, transgender and non-binary characters in various situations.

The parents, who are Muslims, Christians and Jews, argued alongside the parental rights organization Kids First that by not providing an opt-out option, the board’s policy infringed their religious rights under the U.S. Constitution’s First Amendment.

But U.S. Circuit Judge G. Steven Agee, writing for the majority in Wednesday’s opinion, said the record was “threadbare” as to how teachers were actually using the books in their classrooms and what children were being taught from them.


The books are available. They are about gay sex. They are reading them to the elementary school kids.

What does the word “threadbare” mean in this context?

Is he saying “maybe they’re not reading the whole book”?

Agee, an appointee of Republican former President George W. Bush, said such information was key for the parents to establish that the lack of an opt-out option was interfering with their children’s religious education.

Vote Republican to get conservative judges, GOY.

“At present, however, no evidence in the record connects the requisite dots between the Parents’ children’s ages or mental capacity and their unknown exposure to the Storybooks to conclude that the Parents have already shown that a cognizable burden exists,” he wrote.


Agee’s opinion was joined by U.S. Circuit Judge DeAndrea Benjamin, an appointee of Democratic President Joe Biden.

U.S. Circuit Judge A. Marvin Quattlebaum, Jr an appointee of Republican former President Donald Trump, dissented, saying in his view, the board violated the parents’ First Amendment right to direct the religious upbringing of their children.

Eric Baxter, a lawyer for the parents at Becket, in a statement promised a further appeal. “The court just told thousands of Maryland parents they have no say in what their children are taught in public schools,” he said.

Yeah, that’s been happening for like, 15 years, bro.

Alan Schoenfeld, a lawyer for the school board at Wilmer Cutler Pickering Hale and Dorr, did not respond to a request for comment.

At issue was a set of LGBTQ-inclusive storybooks that the board in 2022 approved for use in Montgomery County Public Schools’ curriculum.

Those books included “Pride Puppy!” an alphabet book by Robin Stevenson about a dog who gets lost amid a pride parade, and “Born Ready: The True Story of a Boy Named Penelope,” a story by Jodie Patterson about her transgender son’s experience.

Parents could originally opt children out of reading the books, but the board abandoned the opt-out option with the 2023-2024 school year, prompting the lawsuit.

Here’s one of the books the kids are going to be forced to read:

This is really reasonable, and anyone against it deserves to have the shit beat out of them by cops like these anti-Israel protesters.

*You might think that intro is gross. It’s supposed to be gross. They are trying to make this all cutesy, but homosexuality is not cutesy. It involves men ramming their penises and fists into each other’s anuses. It also involves licking poop from anuses. That is what they are teaching elementary school kids in America. They are forcing it on them. Does this seem sustainable?