Starbucks Employees Rebel Against Company Telling Them They Don’t Have to Wear Masks

CLEARLY MARKED FILLER

Starbucks employees are raging against the machine after the machine told them they could take their muzzles off.

The mask has become a symbol of religious piety to a significant portion of the population.

The absolute state of millennials.

I like a good boomer joke as much as anyone, but the idea of millennials making fun of anyone for being dumb, self-righteous and out of touch with reality is absurd.

Why did none of them get jobs?

Can you imagine being in your thirties and working at Starbucks and blaming your parents for your life?

Can you imagine drawing personal meaning from covering your face to protect from a virus that doesn’t even exist as a way to show that you’re a good person because you strongly believe in the imaginary virus?

Can you imagine paying six dollars for 16 ounces of the same high fructose corn syrup you can get 2 liters of for 99 cents in a classic bottle of Mountain Shoutin’?

This is really a mess.

The problem is very simple: it is the feminization of men.

That is the boomers’ fault for feeding their kids shitty processed food made mostly of plastic.

But still: they should have at least tried. 

One thing that you have to give millennials credit for is that they aren’t bothered by being generalized as a group. It’s really weird the way boomers associate so strongly with their generation. If someone says “millennials are whiny babies who act like little girls,” no one complains.

These millennials just need to sit tight.

The virus is coming back, guys!

The masks are coming back!

We just gotta take a quick break from the ongoing religious ceremony to try to bully normal heterosexual white males into getting vaxxed by creating an apartheid system, guys!

Relax!

Masks will be back in the fall!