The Beard Question

I’ve seen the right-wing memes about how hipsters are faggots and respectable men shave. I remember a meme I can’t find right now comparing some beardsoy to Cary Grant.

But I can just recreate it:

I think Cary Grant was definitely more stylish than a hipster. It’s my belief he was also a homosexual. Some people will still argue the point, and I don’t really like accusing dead people of being homosexuals, as a general rule. But with Grant, I think it’s pretty well-established, if not simply obvious.

On the other end of the beard-shave spectrum, however, there is an Islamic hadith that says that men who shave are basically transvestites, trying to make themselves pretty like women. I think that as fashionable as Cary Grant was, he was also trying to make himself pretty like a woman.

The thing with the hipster beard, which has become such a disgusting trend, is that they obsessively groom the beard, to the point where they are also attempting to make themselves pretty like women. They are just taking a different angle.

The issue here is spending overly much time grooming yourself for the sake of women’s approval. I think one should not look like a slob. Certainly, one should have good hygiene. But if you are doing more than the basics, you are getting into weird territory, where you are focusing on your appearance much too much. That is unrelated to beards.

What’s crazy: if you look at pictures of 19th century (pre-Hollywood) miners, most of them are engaged in some form of shaving, even if they keep the mustache.

Beards Do Not Hide the Fact You are Fat

One point that I’ve really tried to stress to millennials who are doing this beard thing is that it doesn’t hide the fact you are fat.

The first hipster to try to hide the fact that he was getting fat was Jim Morrison.

He wasn’t really that fat, it’s just that he was known for looking like a twink. (He’s someone dead I don’t feel bad accusing of being a homosexual. Also, the music was trash.)

These men using beards to try to hide their fat now are a lot fatter, and it is not working at all, and it just makes them seem more pathetic. If you’re a fat piece of shit, just own it.

Shaving is a Hassle

Shaving is a terrible hassle and it is bad for the skin. You can buy hundreds of dollars’ worth of chemical products, but we don’t know what is in these chemicals. I wouldn’t want them in fresh tiny wounds on my face, which is why I’ve never used shaving cream or aftershave.

I’ve settled on just “shaving” with an electric razor, which basically just gives a “scruff” look. I usually leave the mustache, because I believe in it and it just seems to fit.

However, I also go through periods where I just don’t shave at all for weeks or months and grow out-of-control mountain man beards that I just vaguely trim with scissors maybe once a week. This is generally associated, however, with periods of my life where my attitude has been “fuck you all, don’t even talk to me.” This is not my normal attitude, generally. But you know. Life has phases, and you sort of have to roll with it.

Conclusion

This article is pointless garbage and I don’t even know what point I’m trying to make.

I don’t have a problem with shaving or beards. If there is a point here, what I have a problem with is men spending too much time on fashion. I think the Moslems have a point when they say this makes you like a transvestite.

Part of me wants to say “hair grows there for a reason – if you weren’t supposed to have hair on your face, it wouldn’t grow there.” But I don’t feel particularly committed to this position. Shaving because it feels cleaner or makes you feel fresher seems fair enough to me.

In old stories that I used to read about frontiersmen, they would all have beards, but if they came across a settlement where they could take a bath and clean up, they would also shave. This is despite the fact that they were cutting their beards with a knife when they got out of control while they were out in the wilderness scalping injuns or whatever.

I am against looking like the hipster or Cary Grant in the original photos. I do not think any man should groom himself that much. Men should be thinking about what they’re going to do when the machines fail, and it’s about survival.

If you need to fix yourself up for work, to get that money, then do it. I don’t blame anyone for doing what they have to do to get money, unless it is something gay. You gotta get money.

However, please: don’t use soap. There is just no reason for it. Just scrub yourself in warm water. There is no reason for soap in the age of warm water, unless you’re literally working in a coal mine.

Finally

I really like The Killers. I’m not ashamed of that.

Addendum

I’m going to try to keep these Sunday articles focused on health and fitness or religious issues. I am going to make sure they are a lot better than this one, I can tell you that much. This bullshit shouldn’t even published, but it is going to be, because something must be published.