Volodomormoyrnyr Demands More and More and More for His Endless War

Ukraine war news is getting both dumber and more boring.

I can’t believe they’re still talking about “Volodymyr” and “Kyiv.”

After the war is finally over, can we go back to spelling these words normally?

When Zelensky finally flees the country in a helicopter full of cash, will he do future interviews in a shirt?

This is the speech he gave on the day he was supposed to face an election. But he canceled the election.


Western allies are taking too long to make key decisions on military support for Ukraine, President Volodymyr Zelenskiy told Reuters in an exclusive interview in Kyiv on Monday.

He also said he was pushing partners to get more directly involved in the war by helping to intercept Russian missiles over Ukraine and allowing Kyiv to use Western weapons against enemy military equipment amassing near the border.

Wow, this guy is really demanding.

He acts like he’s frigging Jewish.

The call to accelerate aid and push so-called “red lines” of engagement in the conflict reflect the growing pressure Zelenskiy’s forces are under along more than 1,000 km of front lines in the northeast, east and south of the country.

An impassioned Zelenskiy, dressed in his familiar khaki T-shirt and trousers, said the situation on the battlefield was “one of the most difficult” he had known since the start of Russia’s full-scale invasion in February 2022.

“Ey yo, hol up. Give me dat.”

In recent weeks Moscow’s troops have made incursions into northeastern Ukraine, further testing Kyiv’s already stretched defences. At the same time, Russia has taken territory in the eastern Donbas region in sometimes fierce battles.

“A very powerful wave (of fighting) is going on in Donbas … No-one even notices that there are actually more battles in the east of the country, specifically in the Donbas direction: Kurakhove, Pokrovsk, Chasiv Yar.”

He added, however, that the situation north of Kharkiv was now “under control”.


RU sure?

The 46-year-old was speaking on the fifth anniversary of his inauguration as president. He has not contested elections because of martial law imposed due to the invasion.

Zelenskiy called again for faster military aid from the United States and other partners. Weapons and ammunition from a recently passed U.S. package is now arriving in Ukraine, but it was delayed for months by internal political wrangling.


More like Levising.

What we needed was some Hugo Bossing.

(Sorry, that joke made more sense in my head. I’m just really embarrassed about it now.)

“Every decision to which we, then later everyone together, comes to is late by around one year,” said Zelenskiy.

“But it is what it is: one big step forward, but before that two steps back. So we need to change the paradigm a little bit.”

Zelenskiy said he wanted his partners to be more directly involved in the war, but understood they were wary of antagonising Russia.

“It’s a question of will,” he said. “But everyone says a word that sounds the same in every language: everyone is scared of escalation. Everyone has gotten used to the fact that Ukrainians are dying – that’s not escalation for people.”

It’s not actually a question of will, it’s a question of starting a world war.

Also, everyone is used to the fact that Ukrainians are dying because you people said you wanted to fight to control a territory that doesn’t want to be a part of your country, and you wanted to host NATO nukes.

This is like a pimp saying “everyone has gotten used to the fact that hoes be getting smacked.”

He proposed that the armed forces of neighbouring NATO countries could intercept incoming Russian missiles over Ukrainian territory to help Kyiv protect itself.

Russia has fired thousands of missiles and drones at Ukraine since the start of the wider conflict, and air defences are a priority for Kyiv.

“Russians are using 300 planes on the territory of Ukraine. We need at least 120, 130 planes to resist in the sky,” he said.

He said that if countries could not supply the planes straight away, they could still fly them from neighbouring NATO states and shoot down Russian missiles.

The Ukrainian leader also said Kyiv was negotiating with international partners to use their weapons to strike Russian military hardware at the border and further inside Russian territory.


That is really a lot of demands.

I haven’t heard that many demands since the night I drowned my wife.