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The above photo, dated 2006, was the last known image of the elusive Jogger-American Hacker Mastermind, until recently known only as “The Joggler,” snapped by a security webcam during one of his early childhood hacks – moments before he deleted the webcam with a virus.
The Joggler was believed to have suffered through a troubled childhood, forever marked by the tragic loss of his parents, who were lynched out of pure meanness by Trump KKK Nazi Racist Skinheads for doing nothing more than innocently jogging through a frequently robbed construction site.
On that fateful day, the Joggler vowed revenge against the cardio colonizers, leading him down a dark and lonely path towards a life of crime in the twisted labyrinths of the Deep Web.
He became an enigma, a boogeyman of the Internet, hacking through the tubes of Tiki Torch Supremacist Facebook groups. Over the years, he racked up 47 confirmed kills through Cyber-Bullying suicide, always leaving his calling card – a pair of jogging boots – on the feet of the defeated fascists.
But he knew that one day, his luck would run out. One day, he would have to face off against his eternal nemesis, the Hermetic Order of the Internet Police. They were always hot on his trail, inching in closer and closer, driven by pure hatred for the color of his skin, the same ancient hatred for which they had enslaved his Nubian King ancestors, so very long ago.
Finally, that day has come.
Georgia state investigators announced on Sunday that they have arrested a 20-year-old man suspected of creating a fake Facebook account and using it to post a ‘hoax’ threat against protesters angry over the killing of unarmed black man 25-year-old Ahmaud Arbery.
The Georgia Bureau of Investigation on Sunday said state police arrested Rashawn Smith and charged him with dissemination of information relating to terroristic acts.
Smith allegedly created a fake Facebook page and used it to make threats against the protesters.
He was taken into custody in Midway, a town about 50 miles north of Brunswick.
Earlier in the day, the GBI said it had ‘been made aware of a Facebook post that contains a threat to future protests related to Ahmaud Arbery’.
It was not immediately clear if Smith has an attorney who could comment on the charge.
Unfortunately, because of deeply-rooted systemic inequalities in Jogger-American access to education, his youth diet of lead paint chips, and crack cocaine-induced sleep deprivation psychosis, he just up and forgot all his elite hacking skills one day, and probably made a Facebook alt on his main phone with his default IP or some typical jogger business like he wasn’t even trying, and got busted that very same day.
A tragic end to a promising young King.
Rest In Power
