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Earlier this week, Vladimir Putin bombed his own gas pipeline, destroying a critical piece of Russian infrastructure that the country spent billions of dollars building. Putin has been lying and saying that the Americans did it. He provides no evidence for his claims, simply citing the fact that the US repeatedly threatened to destroy the pipeline.
BIDEN admits US behind sabotage of Nordstream 1 and 2.
Biden: "If Russia invades…then there will be no longer a Nord Stream 2."
Reporter: "But how will you do that, it's in germany's control?"
Biden: "I promise you, we will be able to do that." pic.twitter.com/idlxQYuAqU
— Syrian Girl 🇸🇾🎗 (@Partisangirl) September 27, 2022
Victoria Nuland: “If Russia invades Ukraine, one way or another, Nord Stream 2 will not move forward”
Also this is the same Victoria Nuland who said fuck the EU, and she sure did it to you Germany.#NordStream2 #Nordstream #Nordstream1pic.twitter.com/GGMzrSbwT7
— Syrian Girl 🇸🇾🎗 (@Partisangirl) September 28, 2022
US and NATO officials have both determined that Putin blew up the pipeline. It’s unknown why he would be doing things to harm his country, especially specifically doing things to himself that Joe Biden threatened to do to him. However, experts believe he probably did it so he could blame the US. It’s called a “false flag.” You may have heard that term before: it’s what al-Qaeda did when they blew up the World Trade Center towers so they could blame Israel.
The New York Times quoted a Kremlin insider who claimed that Putin told staff: “it’s not about the pipeline. It’s about sending a message.”
Today, Putin is continuing his campaign of lies. This morning, Putin poured hot coffee on his lap, scalding his penis. Russian officials issued a statement blaming Joe Biden for the spill, and alleging that Putin may have to have a skin graft. Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Petrov pointed to a speech in March of this year at a trans youth event where Biden told a crowd of American patriots that if Putin ever annexed any more of the Ukraine, “he would need a skin graft on his penis.” At the time, a reporter asked Biden how he would burn Putin’s penis, and Biden replied: “trust me, we’re gonna burn that Russkie dong.” White House spokesperson Karine Jean-Pierre said that Putin had burned his own penis in order to blame America. “No one benefits from Putin’s penis being burned,” the Frenchwoman said. “However, we are glad it happened, because it is a victory for democracy.”
NATO chief Jens Stoltenberg called a press conference after the spill to declare that “Putin is doing hybrid warfare against his penis.”
In the early afternoon, Moscow time, Putin’s lies continued after he was in a car crash. Putin said that the US probably caused the car crash. Putin provided no evidence for the claim, simply citing a misleading video of Joe Biden saying, “on the afternoon of October 1, at 1:07 PM Moscow time, Putin is going to be very surprised when his car crashes. Trust me, we’re going to make that happen. It’s gonna happen, folks – on October 1, at exactly 1:07 PM Moscow time.” Responding to the false claims by Putin, State Department spokesperson Ned Price said that Putin purposefully crashed his car in order to blame it on America, adding that America was very happy he did that to himself.
Jens Stoltenberg was still doing a press conference about Putin’s burned penis when news of the car crash came in, and he commented that “Putin is using kinetic elements in his hybrid attacks.”
Experts expect that Putin will continue to purposefully hurt himself and his country in order to try to blame America. Sources at the Pentagon believe that Putin may go so far as to nuke every major city in Russia to try to make America look bad. Putin has previously shelled his own nuclear power plant in the Ukraine to try to make it look like the Ukraine is doing it. Another insider said that Putin may poison Moscow’s water supply with toxic nerve gas. The officials warned that Putin could go so far as having himself assassinated to try to confuse people and make America look bad.
“Putin’s key strategy is attacking himself to make it look like someone else did it,” said National Security Advisor Jake Sullivan. “We expect that he will continue to do many things against himself to try to blame others. However, we support him doing these things.”
