Alcohol-Fueled Apeman Drives Into and Injures White Nashville Cop

Jason Patton.

Due to their poor coordination and lack of experience with wheels, even sober negroes are often a menace on the road.

If they’re drunk as well, it’s more or less certain that they’re going to crash into something (or someone).

Tennessean:

A Metro Nashville police officer was struck and injured by a suspected drunk driver on Interstate 24 near Bell Road early Monday morning, officials said.

The wreck took place about 4:30 a.m. near exit 59 just south of Antioch.

South Precinct Officer David Simmonds was taken to a hospital to be treated for non life-threatening injuries, police said.

The 33-year-old officer was treated and released from Vanderbilt University Medical Center after his marked patrol car was struck by a 2007 Honda CRV driven by Jason Patton, 38.

Sheeeeiittt

Simmonds, a five-year department veteran, was stopped with his emergency equipment activated, blocking lane four of the interstate near Bell Road while investigating another crash, when he was struck from behind by the CRV.

Patton, who has two prior DUI convictions, smelled of alcohol, police said. He also had red watery eyes, slurred speech, and displayed impairment during the administration of Standard Field Sobriety Tasks.

Patton was arrested and charged with DUI and as of Monday afternoon was being held in lieu of $5,000 bond.

David Simmonds.