Andrew Gillum, The Man Who Would be Governor of Florida, has come out to tell the world that he is fascinated with the anuses of other men – and sticking things into them. In particular, he enjoys ramming his penis into other men’s anuses, using the anal cavity to masturbate his penis to the point of ejaculation – at which point, he injects his semen into the other man’s anus.
It is a true act of bravery, to masturbate into another man’s anus, and America should be really proud to have such a man in their government.
Former Florida governor candidate Andrew Gillum tells Tamron Hall he's bisexual: "That is something I have never shared publicly before" pic.twitter.com/prUW7NPk1C
— The Recount (@therecount) September 14, 2020
“I don’t identify as gay but I do identify as bisexual. And that is something that I’ve never shared publicly before,” the Democrat said on The Tamron Hall Show on Monday.
In March of this year, Gillum was discovered on drugs in a Miami hotel with a homosexual prostitute. The police had been called to the room after a homosexual overdosed on methamphetamine. The public was very interested in the situation, with many saying, “that nigga be gay. He be gay, nigga, he gay.”
Gillum was asked to explain the situation, and his answer makes perfect sense: he has a wife, whose vagina he has sex with, but on the weekends, he enjoys ramming his penis into the anuses of buff white men.
There is a common saying to describe such men: “business in the front hole – party in the back hole.”
Gillum appeared on the Tamron Hall Show alongside his wife, R. Jai. In fact, according to news reports, the wife is the one who set up the interview, which is Gillum’s first since having been discovered with the prostitute. R. Jai appears to have no problem with her husband being involved in gay sex on the weekends, and is not worried about getting diseases.
There is no reason to believe that Gillum was running a completely fake identity. There is no reason to believe that he married and had children as a homosexual because he was planning to go into politics. Of course, in 2009, when he got married, Obama had just gotten elected and the concept of a black family man who acts white was a hot brand. But that’s just a coincidence.
Gillum only lost the 2018 Florida gubernatorial election by 0.4%, running on the Obama-style “I’m just like a normal white guy” platform.
This was after he dominated the primary, beating even a Jew.
Not only is his career salvageable – he’s going to be bigger than ever.
If he runs in 2022, on a platform of “I’m just a black guy that totally acts like a normal white guy, and also, I smoke meth and masturbate into the anuses of buff white guys on the weekends,” he’ll get more than 0.4% extra.
It will be a total blowout.